The Value in our Valuables
Every once in a while,a situation presents itself to you, and in so doing, however unwittingly, that situation tests your resolve, challenges your moral fiber and forces you to examine (or re-examine) your values. These are the "pivotal moments" in our lives when our choices begin to define who we are.
When things like these happen, one of two things may be the result:
you will try to ignore the situation until it absolutely HAS to command your attention,
or
you will rush to a decision so that you don't have to think about it for too long.
I have a theory about why these two possible reactions are so prevalent. And here it is:
There are simply not enough moments in a teenager's day to give the appropriate attention to the notion (idea) of what he or she values.
Not to mention the word itself, values, is such an abstract term that who really has to time to ponder its meaning AND the implications AND live the life of a carefree kid? Nobody.
So, as a result of my theory, this blog question was born. Because sometimes we actually have to MAKE the time to do stuff like this, not because of a grade (although certainly that too), but because these are golden opportunities to ask ourselves who we really are.
I would like you to really let the questions I am presenting here have some time to marinate so that you can reach a deeper level of understanding.
What DO you value?
Please don't say things such as "friends, family, or iPhone 12thousand in rose gold."
Those things are just that--things (yes, even the people).
While they have surface value, they are not what I am talking about. Why? Because, in order to get to the deeper understanding of yourself and your actual values, you have to ask yourself WHY you consider those things valuable.
We already know the selfish answer to what makes the people in our lives valuable--we need them. That's why I don't want you to list people.
Because, now, you have to ask yourself a two-part, very fundamental question:
1)What makes you so mad you could scream? What fills you with unabashed joy?
and
2)Why do you have those reactions to what you listed?
The sum total of those answers is the amorphous notion of your values.
These are hard questions, and like all hard questions, the answers may take a while to come and you may have to write it as you're thinking about it. Please do so, because I would be willing to bet that all of us could benefit from your thought process as well as your answers.
Buena Suerte.
When things like these happen, one of two things may be the result:
you will try to ignore the situation until it absolutely HAS to command your attention,
or
you will rush to a decision so that you don't have to think about it for too long.
I have a theory about why these two possible reactions are so prevalent. And here it is:
There are simply not enough moments in a teenager's day to give the appropriate attention to the notion (idea) of what he or she values.
Not to mention the word itself, values, is such an abstract term that who really has to time to ponder its meaning AND the implications AND live the life of a carefree kid? Nobody.
So, as a result of my theory, this blog question was born. Because sometimes we actually have to MAKE the time to do stuff like this, not because of a grade (although certainly that too), but because these are golden opportunities to ask ourselves who we really are.
I would like you to really let the questions I am presenting here have some time to marinate so that you can reach a deeper level of understanding.
What DO you value?
Please don't say things such as "friends, family, or iPhone 12thousand in rose gold."
Those things are just that--things (yes, even the people).
While they have surface value, they are not what I am talking about. Why? Because, in order to get to the deeper understanding of yourself and your actual values, you have to ask yourself WHY you consider those things valuable.
We already know the selfish answer to what makes the people in our lives valuable--we need them. That's why I don't want you to list people.
Because, now, you have to ask yourself a two-part, very fundamental question:
1)What makes you so mad you could scream? What fills you with unabashed joy?
and
2)Why do you have those reactions to what you listed?
The sum total of those answers is the amorphous notion of your values.
These are hard questions, and like all hard questions, the answers may take a while to come and you may have to write it as you're thinking about it. Please do so, because I would be willing to bet that all of us could benefit from your thought process as well as your answers.
Buena Suerte.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I value is tolerance. Many people lack this quality in their life. It is very very frustrating to me when someone isn't tolerant to another person. Many people aren't very tolerant with me which can be hurtful at times. For example if I am in class and I do not know something, most of the I will raise my hand and ask about it. Others may think what I am asking is stupid, but if I do not understand I would want to further my education and know what is going on. People who aren't tolerant and complain when I ask that question in class honestly piss me off. If someone says "Ugh Jenna" when I want to know the answer to something it hurts my feelings and honestly makes the learning environment so much harder to feel comfortable in. I'm not going to name any names but a couple people in this class have done this before. If you can't tolerate people in your life as a teenager, how are you going to tolerate all the assholes outside of school. To be able to tolerate someone is so much appreciated and should be apart of everyone's values.
ReplyDelete1) Something that makes me so mad I can scream is someone who is very rude to another person in a mean and serious way (I get it i am rude and sarcastic to my friends and in a joking way, this is not what I am talking about). Something that fills me with unbashed joy is actually a someone, my boyfriend. He makes me so happy and I literally talk about him all the time everyday. When we cannot hang out him and I text everyday. I don't think there is one day that I have gone without texting him. I can go on and on about how he makes me feel but I don't want to put anyone through all of that reading, so I'll just say he fills me with unbashed joy.
2) When someone is rude in a serious way I get so pissed off and angry. No one should be treated any other way but nice. I do not understand how someone can treat another human being so poorly and still be fine living their happy good 'ole life. I just can't comprehend any of that. And I get super happy with my boyfriend because he is one of my favorite people in my life. We can act silly, crazy, serious together. I never will get bored of him. I will always love him even if things end. He is the longest relationship I have had. We are complete opposites but I would never give him up for the world. He means so much to me and I would die if i ever loose him
Having value for someone or something is simple; materialistic things are literal and direct, meaning being able to connect with them is slightly easier. Maintaining value for an emotion is a deeper level. I value my resilience to specific situations. Not many people can mentally overcome struggles I’ve gone through so quickly, and I am very aware of that. Being aware of it definitely makes me appreciate myself more. Resilience comes with pros and cons like anything else though. Some days it’s helpful and thrilling while others; most days, it hurts. It hurts because my tone is calm and present while my thoughts are pushing to maintain such a facade. I truly believe so many others feel the exact way about themselves though. It’s such a relatable emotion yet I tend to value it more than I dwell on it. Now for the real tea... something that makes me so mad I could scream. I’d say anxiety in general, either it makes me completely break down and cry or I’m yelling at someone. Anxiety feels like your entire existence is coming to a slow end in seconds, and if that doesn’t make someone want to scream I don’t know what does. Now you may question, yes that makes you scream but how does it make you mad? The frustration with myself that goes along with anxiety is so unimaginable yet common to people, trust me when I say I get mad as well. Time for the complete opposite, something that fills me with unabashed joy. That’s tough, especially by using “unabashed”. If I had to narrow down my options, just knowing that I’m secure with myself can honestly bring me so much joy. Whether it‘s because of schoolwork, people, work, or sports, having myself in check and feeling good about “me” is the best feeling. I think I have these reactions towards these things because I was/am raised by a mother who does have anxiety, however is very independent because of her own successes and downfalls. From her I learned it’s okay to fail, more than once, there’s always time to regain strength and keep pushing through the hard times.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I find valuable? I find so many things valuable. Something I find valuable the most though is strength. Strength is a key to life. We all have it and we all use it everyday. It's waking up the next morning of a bad night and pushing through, it's keeping smile on your face even though you feel as though everything around you is falling apart slowly or all at once. For me personally I will always admire my strength and my ability to keep a smile on my face at all times. Some may say it's fake but to me it's inspiring. Strength is what keeps you alive. If I just gave up when things got hard or when the first tear was shed I wouldn't be living this life right now and I wouldn't be where I am right now.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad I could scream? I don't get mad very much, I believe that controlling your emotions is very important but I do get mad because I am human. I believe expectations and feeling as though you are in control of nothing is what really hits the most sometimes. I know a lot of people who have a lot of expectations from me, whether it's my family or peers they have a lot of expectations from me which I don't mind but sometimes when I don't fulfill those expectations for everyone I want to cry because I feel like I let everyone down. I get frustrated and mad at myself. I want to please everyone and not being able to do so and letting others down tears me apart. The expectations from people doesn't make me mad but not reaching those expectations does. Feeling as though you are in control of nothing also makes me very mad because there are so many things I wish I could control but not everything is in your hands and it sucks but it's life.
What fills me with unabashed joy? Presence. Feeling somebody present makes me happy and although I could name hundreds of things that happy wouldn't be me digging deep. Feeling like somebody is listening to you and is with you and actually being present fills me with joy because I feel like I'm not alone. I feel like somebody is there caring for me and actually being there and not on their phones or distracted.
I have these reactions to what I have listed because I don't like letting others down so it makes me mad and I don't like feeling like I'm worthless and not able to help with certain things and I can't control certain things. Presence makes me happy and people being present because it shows how they care for you and it makes you feel like you aren't just ignored by everyone around you and you are being heard.
Umm...
ReplyDeleteWhat makes me so mad to the point where I'm screaming? I think it's frustration. I'm not really the type of person to like always get mad and scream because there's no point and its just plain rude to scream at someone. But when I'm by myself and I get frustrated it eats me up inside. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and I can't solve anything. It makes me feel hopeless, and I don't like to feel that way because I'm an optimistic person. So when I get frustrated it gets me to the point where I can just scream because what else can I do? Nothing.
What fills me with unabashed Joy? I always get this really good and joyful feeling when like my mom bring home some really good food and I been starving all day. Or like that one girl I've been wanting hits me up and like wants to hang out or something. I get super happy when my mom gets me new shoes/clothes. But what's the one similar component with all of these things? They are all tangible, you can touch them and feel them and play with them. Then when they're gone your sad or mad and you eventually move on. So what really brings me joy? I think it's the feeling of seeing other people happy and joyful. When someone else is happy it brings a certain type of energy around me that I just kind of pick up and I'm automatically happy. It gets me in a good mood. If someone is mad or angry at me or around me it's just disturbing and sad. It doesn't really bring me any joy it does the opposite. I feel like if someone is happy around me then I'm a person to be happy around and if they aren't then either I'm doing something wrong or something bad happened to them. Like I said I'm an optimistic person so I like to stay positive and joyful as well as see other people the same way.
So finally, what do I value? I don't want to sound selfish or anything but I value myself. Most people don't really actually value themselves like that. They want to impress other people and value their beliefs rather than their own, and I'm guilty of that not gonna lie. But now this question had me thinking for a second about why I do the things I do or why some people make me mad and happy. I just came to realize that it's me and the way I react to certain things that's so valuable. If I didn't value myself I probably wouldn't have the mindset I do today. I care about my future and the things I can do to benefit me in the long run. Even though not all the time I make the right choices I can say I've made more good ones than bad. So through some very long thinking I came to understand that I very much value myself. :)
I have really been struggling with this question even though it is so straight forward. See the thing is with me I have never really thought about what I value. I know what you are thinking. How could I possibly not know what I value? I just try not to think about things like that much but now that I actually have to these next few things will be what I value the most. I value love, I know we can’t say people but I value them anyways and I just love how love makes me feel. I can’t get through my day feeling unloved by people and I know others can’t either. Some of us (me) come from broken homes and don’t get shown love while they are there so I seek love from my boyfriend (Louie) and my teachers and my peers at school. I also value happiness which is something I didn’t think about too much before. I never realized how much happiness actually means to me. I feel like it would be hard to live my life without being happy. Also yes I do realize that I look miserable all of the time but if you actually get to know me I am a very happy person who tries to spread happiness around to everyone. Happiness is something I value so much because it is also something I struggled to have for a long ass time. If I am being completely honest I wasn’t really happy this year until just this past summer. I use to go home and cry everyday because of how sad I use to be so I know how it feels to be in a dark place and I now try my absolute best and hardest to help make others happy. Happiness is something to never take for granted because sadly it can be gone in an instant if something bad happens and you have to be really strong to get back to having that happy state of mind. Now for what makes me so mad I could scream sadly is my mother. We don’t get along very well at all, I have never really been close with my family. There has never really just been a bond between me and my family I do many things on my own and I try to avoid them as much as possible. My mother and me never really see eye to eye, she thinks she is a good mother but I do not and this probably makes me sound like such a horrible person for thinking that. I try to get along with her but it ends up backfiring on me and I get yelled at which just makes me want to scream but I have learned no matter how badly I want to scream and shout I can’t do it because things will only get worse. What fills me with unabashed joy though is my boyfriend. I am pretty sure none of you know him but Bunje does so she’ll understand but let me just say boy am I lucky. His name is Louie, and we have been dating for close to a year and a half now. He helps me through my good days and my bad days, he knows how to make me so happy when I am down. He helps me with my family problems and just helps me stay positive and always reminds me to stay happy. He takes me on adventures and makes me try new things. Him and his whole family show me the love and support I need. Seeing him and his family is what fills me with joy. I have these reactions with my mother because well you’d have to be in my shoes to understand. She is just manipulative and just really knows how to get under my skin. For why I get so happy with Louie it’s because he is just that type of person who is loving,caring, supporting, he is just special and he really knows how to make me happy. He is the one person I would love to keep in my life forever.
ReplyDeleteIn life, materialistic should not be the only things that are valued and shown to the world. Personally, I value things such as hard work, dedication and, no matter how cliché this sounds, kindness. Without these three factors of life, no one would be where they are today and the world would not be the same. Think back to a time where you wanted something and had set a goal to get it. What did you do? You worked hard, kept your mind on the goal you set, and eventually got what you wanted. These things are most important to me and I value them the most, because they show a person's work ethic and what kind of person they really are.
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest pet peeves or things that people do that makes me so angry that I could scream is disrespecting others or being rude for no reason. Whether it be because of race, gender, ethnicity, likes, dislikes, sexuality or anything else that someone can't control, I don't tolerate people who make fun of or hate on others for these types of things. I cannot stand when others treat people badly at all, for anything. There is no reason for anyone to be mean to another and there is especially no need for bullying or any sort. When people are made fun of or talked to like they're less because of these things, it can hurt. It can really make their whole world come crashing down in a matter of seconds, and that's why I don't tolerate it. No one should feel that they are less or that the world is against them, no matter what.
On the other hand, something that makes me so happy that I could jump for joy would be knowing that I have people around me that I can confide in and trust. I know that sounds selfish and that it is somewhat materialistic, but I believe that everyone should have some type of feeling like that. You should always have that one person, or maybe more, that makes you feel at home. Being lucky enough to have that bond with someone, I feel that it makes things easier on me just to be able to talk to someone without having to worry. When I'm stressed, I can go to them. When I'm upset about something or what someone said, I can go to them. Even if I'm really happy about something that happened or just excited in general, I can talk to them. I know that everyone doesn't have someone like this that they can vent to or talk about what they're feeling that day, but I'm so grateful that I do, because it makes this crazy world and life that we live a whole lot easier. Over my sixteen, almost seventeen years of living, i've come to the realization that I value the bigger things in life over the small, replaceable things.
When I was first asked this question, I really didn’t know how to respond back to this blog post. I never really sat down and asked myself what did I truly valued and why I valued it. I guess after some thought, something that I truly value would be empathy. Empathy is something that I wish everybody valued. When my friends tell me a situation that is sad or sorrowful, I understand the feelings that they are going through. I put their emotions first over mine and I try to empathize with them. I want them to know and understand that I will always be there and that I’m always ready to listen. I value this because it is something that I would want somebody to give back to me. I want people to see themselves in my shoes and then tell me whatever they’re going to say. Sometimes I think people say stuff without even realize how hurtful it can be towards the person telling the story because they don’t see it from their viewpoint. Something that makes me so mad that I could scream is how people compare me to others. It gets me so frustrated when I hear me getting compared to my friends or family. My parents are always comparing me to my cousin because they believe that it will motivate me to try harder, but it does the complete opposite. I get so frustrated about this because I wish they would understand that I am a completely different person. Comparing people in general is frustrating. Everybody is different, but people don’t realize that. Something that gets me filled with unabashed joy? If I had to really narrow this one down it would definitely be love. I know people say that love is scary and that it is something they don’t want to talk about because either they’ve had failed relationships or they just are scared, but I get the uttermost joy from this. I’m not talking about love that you feel with a significant other, but love in general. I’ve never really once told my parents that I’ve loved them through the phone. It’s not that I’m not close with them, I just like to express my affection towards them in a different way. I think that I find comfort and support through love and it just makes me all giggly and happy. I really wish that people could experience love in some type of form, but I know that not everybody is able to so, it makes me treasure this emotion even more.
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ReplyDeleteWhat do I value? I value gratitude the most out of everything I find valuable. Having gratitude in the world we live in today seems really important to me to have. Being thankful, having kindness, helping others and just flat out being grateful for what you have are all types of generosity. Not everyone is lucky to have what others may have and a lot of people don’t realize that. It’s not hard to show an ounce of kindness to anyone. Simply holding the door or just simply saying the words “thank you” to someone may make their whole day. Just showing that you appreciate the little things that a person may do for you is very important to me. Some mornings instead of possibly complaining that you have to wake up early and go to school, be grateful that you get to go obtain an education that others may wish to receive. Being raised mostly by just my mom, I value having gratitude so much and there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful or grateful at one point during those 24 hours.
ReplyDeleteWhat is something that makes me so mad I could scream? Personally being stressed with having frustration and overthinking mixed into it makes me so mad I could scream. I believe being stressed is a choice, but sometimes I feel like it’s needed and essential at that moment. When I’m so stressed I physically feel like I can’t achieve anything and I get those temporary little breakdowns. I hate when I get myself like that. Frustration absolutely kills me. I’m not talking about getting frustrated with people, but I’m talking about getting frustrated with myself personally. When that happens I feel like I should just stop trying and give up, but I never let myself do that. I tend to overthink fairly a lot about certain things and I always find myself comparing myself to others. Some things that I overthink a lot aren’t even necessary to have that much thinking to. When I feel like I’m worthless at times because I’m stressed, frustrated with myself or being an overthinker tends to make me so mad I could scream.
What fills me with unabashed joy? Having that one person/ people that you could simply just sit down and talk to. Having someone who is a good listener, is honest with you, helps you through things and many more characteristics like that are important people to have by your side. Having that person you can vent to, cry to, talk to when something very exciting happened to you and simply just being able to open up to about anything is important and fills me with unabashed joy. That person who genuinely cares and wants to listen and be there for you is something I cherish. Just having their presence and knowing they actually want to listen and be there for you makes me happy and not just because they feel like they have to.
Mental stability is the most valuable thing to me. From a very young age I knew what anxiety and depression was and i was suffering from it. When i was younger i was described as “moody” or dismissed as “angry”. According to social workers who would pull me out of class i was smart intellectually, but i was “quietly hostile”. Nevermind that my family was falling apart and I was growing up way too fast. I was “diagnosed” with having an attitude problem so I rocked with that.When you’re a kid you go with anything an adult says, because they know everything, right? Depression was never talked about in my house. That word was constantly being surrounded by stigma. Suddenly depression was something that happened to white people on tv, depression was something that could never take down a strong black girl. It seemed like another way of desperately trying to be white. Also, in my house, us kids could never be depressed, according to the adults. “you don’t know the half of it! It gets worse! Why are you sad?, i give you everything, be grateful!” It was like i couldn’t cry without feeling guilty. So, i stopped crying and i got angry. I was a angry kid, i was angry because i was confused. My family was and still is filled with secrets and lies, it’s incredibly frustrating. However i’ve learned to manage that anger. Now i don’t get angry, it takes a lot to even get me mad. I think my anger was replaced with just being very sad. If i had to pick something that made me so mad i can scream is when someone hurts the people I love. I’ve seen the people that i love the most breakdown and cry because someone else hurt them. I hate feeling powerless and in situations like that is when i feel the most powerless. But you know what they say, anger isn’t a real emotion, it’s just a masking device for sadness. Since i’ve had a run in with shitty things happening to me i’ve grown to appreciate the small things. Something as little as a smile can make me unabashedly happy. But on a greater scale i think the thing that makes me most happy is seeing my little sister grow up loving the color of her skin, and her hair texture, her big nose and lips. When i was younger i struggled with loving the skin i’m in, and being able to preach the importance of loving yourself to her is amazing.
ReplyDeleteAttention. i value attention highly. Say what you wish, however the only reason you feel the way you do, is because you don't want to admit that you get the same sensation as i do when you get a compliment, or catch someone staring at you and see them snap their head the other way hoping you didn't catch them. It makes you feel good, but It goes much deeper than that for me. I don't crave that senseless droning of attention. I desire attention from people close to me, that actively listen to what i have to say, whether about my day, or my beliefs, morals, or my outlook on something. I honor the thought, honesty and courage that they put into their response and how they challenge how i think and putting into perspective a situation i may not have viewed from. I would rather have a friend that puts me in check when i need it, rather than a d***rider that only agrees with me even when i know I'm wrong and don't want to admit it. its the mindful attention and devotion of time that we invest in EACH OTHER that i value. It's the attention received from a good conversation with someone, whether face to face, over the phone or in text or letters.
ReplyDeleteGoing back to the mindless d***riding friend that does nothing but agrees with you. That drives me insane because, in my mind, that's the equivalent of them either being just as f***ed up as i am and us dragging each other down, or them just not engaged in my interests or not seeing me as important enough to give an actual thought out response.
Call me conceded, narcissistic, vain, or whatever you like, but i value attention.
To be honest the only thing i value is loyalty. I know saying that i value my friends loyalty is unoriginal but that's how i really feel, i don't care about money, stress, or really anything other than being happy, and the only thing that can do that is being with people that i will die for and feel invincible being around. I don't really get mad, but i get annoyed when people aren't loyal. People who will lie to your face saying how important you are and what they will do for you but when their true colors show you can really tell who cares about you for being you vs for what you can do for them. What gets me the happiest, is of course being around those who care about me. kicking wit my brothers that I've known forever cures me of any pain and makes me feel like i have nothing to worry about and i can't die. I don't know how anyone else feels about being with their friends but they are the thing i value most, the only thing i value really.
ReplyDeleteOkay so I had THE worst time with this question. What do I value? I even had to look it up, write in my diary a couple of times. You know the deal. After some very very hard thinking I can now say that there are a lot of things that I value. In myself and in others what I value the most is independence, strength, honesty, and connection.
ReplyDeleteI value independence because this year I've been slowly learning that you are the only person you've truly got in life. Everyone leaves you, that's just how it is.
I value strength (I'm not talking about physical strength even thought that's important too) because it's what gets you through life. You learn to just let the unimportant things fly by you.
I value honesty because honesty is what makes you strong. Strength is what makes you independent. Honesty is tough, you have to learn how to take it. It shows that you care, even just a little bit. Honesty is keeping your promises. Honesty is showing up.
I value connection because its not just your basic "hey how was your day?" friendship. It's something deeper than that. That's just so important to me.
I get angry easily. I'm extremely hot headed. Yesterday I threatened about 3 people before school even started because they were annoying me so much to the point that I was getting mad... I know this is something I have to work on and I am, boxing really helps me. My progress has been great though! Three years ago you didn't want to make me angry, you just didn't. Although what angers me the most is when others don't keep their promises or when I do something wrong and I can't fix it. You just feel so powerless, I hate not having control over a situation.
What fills my unabashed joy? I'm not really sure. There's a combination of things. My family is a big factor, even though they're hard on me I can talk to them not about everything but most things. I'm very lucky in that way because I do realize that not everyone has that. My Hedgehog Blaze is also another thing. He is this little grumpy, sweet spiky ball. I love him with all my heart, when I take him out the cage we usually just cuddle and take naps together. Yesterday I was playing on my ukulele and his face lit up and ahhhh. I can talk about him forever... Lastly it would be when you have a really deep connection with someone. The kind of connection that you can just talk to a person for hours and not even look at your phone. Where you just look at that person and you know what they want to say without words being said. I had that connection once, but then we moved here. I'm hoping my parents will let me visit this year though.
Over the years I learned to value the little things in life. I know, it sounds cliché, and I used to think that too. I value that the sun always comes up the morning after a rough night. I value how a person can feel like home. What makes me so mad I could scream is easy: inconsideration. This comes in different waves, to me. There are scenarios like bumping into a little freshman into the hallway, or not holding the door for someone, that I consider inconsideration. I have also been in scenarios where calling it inconsideration would be an understatement, but I don't want to get into that. I feel like I consider inconsideration as something that makes me so angry I could scream is because I have been dealing with it for a long time now. I have been putting up with people who only care about themselves, but I always catch myself worrying more about them than myself. On the other hand, what fills me with unabashed joy? There are many things, big and small. Let's start with small: a song that makes me feel like I'm floating, or someone laughing at something I said. On a different perspective, the bigger things that fill me with joy, are kind of complicated and hard to put into words. Knowing my brothers look up to me, but are also my bestfriends, fills me with joy. The overwhelming feel of relief when someone acknowledges my struggles fills me with joy, in a weird way. Knowing I will always have a support system fills me with joy. There are many more insignificant things that fill me with joy, but these are the things that make me happy on a daily basis.
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ReplyDeleteI value individualism a whole ton. I feel like this day and age there are too many fads and people worrying about fitting in. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself one of those people, however I definitely don't shy away from it either. I feel like it's becoming increasingly hard to become an individual and that's why I value it so much. Being yourself can be hard, especially considering people will call you weird and annoying (which I get all the time) and which usually isn't wrong. Being an individual means being weird and annoying sometimes but at the end of the day, that's what makes you, you. Although I can't be hypocritical, sometimes I see some pretty outlandish people and judge them pretty hard but I always have respect for these people. It makes me happy to see people be themselves and it sometimes saddens me to see how far away from the idea of being yourself we have strayed. I'm only 17 years old and people have become very predictable. It's easy to see how people will act based strictly on who they spend the most time with and what they enjoy. A great example of this is Fortnite which is a great ground breaking game but it also is the epitome of "monkey see, monkey do". And I'm not necessarily talking about the people who play it. With the popularization of Fortnite, came the popularization of the game genre in general. It just kinda gets under my skin that everyone, all of a sudden, is in love with battle royale games strictly because it's what's popular right now. This idea of fitting in is ingrained in our society and that will always kind of bug me.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it makes me mad when I am purposely ignored or belittled. I get extremely furious when people take my kindness for granted. They use me as a stepping stone for new friendships, and when they get tired of me, they’ll drop me off the face of the Earth. But alas, next thing you know, they’ll come crawling back- and sometimes I will let them back in. Part of me knows that they’ll just end up using me again for their little game, but I give them a second chance because I want to believe that it won’t happen again. It’s really tiring. It’s even worse when that person has known you for almost a decade. It makes me really question what I ever was to them. Was it really your intention to hurt me? The cycle continues, but if you spend your entire life worrying about something, it will become a nuisance. People are huge hypocrates. Maybe I’m a hypocrite... It’s funny how aware, yet oblivious I am of my own actions. I know how much allowing these people back into my life will hurt me again, yet I do it anyways. Despite all that, at least I know I’m human. What about joy? What makes me truly happy? Knowing that I am safe in my own home without having to worry about not eating enough. Knowing that I won’t have to wonder if I have electricity when I get home. Knowing that I have parents who love me and care about my future. That’s truly what happiness is to me. I feel like every person deserves to be loved, and sadly not everyone can live that fantasy. How can I feel this way? Because I am privileged. I never asked to be this way. When I turned 16, I realized that I had an easier life than most of the people I knew. Knowing this makes me want to understand the motivation of other people. It makes me want to help them. Maybe this desire is the reason why I feel like I need to give second chances. People who use others are often the people who want to be sought-after. They don’t have the same values as others because of how they were brought up.
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ReplyDeleteI couldn’t agree more that possessive objects become the obsession of our lifetime. Money, popularity, clothing, the newest trend. All things in which you can obtain. What I value above all else determines the person behind these items. Behind the makeup, the shoes, the accessories, their bare soul. I value feelings. While people of every diversity can own items, that doesn’t define the goodness they bestow. Meaning, a millionaire can have a heart, but the money is not what makes it so. The ability to look past what we can see, and focus on what is beyond that is an ability most people do not have. And so, what I have just described is the world we know. We prioritize items above all else, that is what makes us human. How hard we work in school, what job we decide to reach for, most things all leading up to what we can gain by achieving these things. Most people would not be working in the office they cannot stand, with the boss they cannot tolerate, with the coworkers that also drain themselves tirelessly everyday. If it would not upkeep their house, yard, car, and clothes in which they love so dearly. When you die you are not remembered by how many items you collected, you are remembered for the memories you made. In most cases that is continuously exhausting yourself at a desk. The simple fact is, you cannot buy emotions, passion, love, happiness, compassion. No matter your income, you never will.
ReplyDeleteI do not condone anger. I did not just state that I do not feel angry, I assure you I do. But, I avoid it when I can by rethinking the situation. I acknowledge that anger is nothing but a mask to shield another emotion, sadness, bitterness, regret, discontent. Anger is what people use as an instant resolve when they do not want to feel something else. And so, I try to be honest with myself what I am trying hide. Sometimes that’s all it takes to realize you are angry at yourself and not someone else’s doing, or even that you have nothing to be upset with at all. But above all what I find myself frustrated with is hypocrites. I cannot stand someone who will state something openly, and contradict that statement the next minute. I would love for someone to claim that they are not a culprit of this. If at some point you were bad mouthing your closest friend and decided to hang out that same day like it never happened, you are a hypocrite my friend. This bothers me the most because everyone is responsible for this. Some cases, without meaning to, others completely intentional. Some people get through their day by being a hypocrite. If people actually acted themselves, a lot of people would not be surrounded by friendly faces.
Shall I say music is my joy. It most certainly is, there are many things that make me enjoy living, this is the top on my list. Whether I am singing, playing, or listening to music it is the representation of what we cannot express. It has the ability to make you laugh, bring you to tears, scream in anger, all of the above. Music will always be my serenity, there is an infinite amount of knowledge when it comes to music. My favorite quality is the fact that it is a different experience for everybody. No one person hears a song the same, for music is interpreted. Due to experiences, culture, ethnicity, all of these things which affect a writer and a reader; affect a composer and it’s listener. No one will ever comprehend the experience of singing in choir, at least not a genuine one until you’re there. Where every one hears each other’s sound, blending, feeling each and every persons emotions pouring out in a cloud of sound. The notes in which we resonate are enough to tell a tragedy or spiritual. The melody alone, without any words spoken. Words are added to help emphasize the idea. When one person is brought to tears in a rush of desperation to be understood, we all are. That is choir.
I value thankfulness. I value thankfulness because I am thankful for what I have in my life today. Nowadays people think that they earned something without thanking anyone, that is not the case everyone has gotten something from someone due to their success. And also not many people are thankful for who they are as a person, which really gets me upset. For example special needs kids gets me upset because who wonders what they are going through or what they have to go through, and they're still more thankful than some. I thank god for opening my eyes to see a new day. I thank god that my family is still together. I thank god that I have a roof over my head. And yes, I am Christian and I am thankful for that because I wouldn't be who I am today and that's what I value.
ReplyDeleteSomething that gets me mad that I could possibly scream would be when I become stressed. This is because when I get stressed I'm not me. And I have been through this I have been stressed and I have screamed because. I'm a guy that if someone says what's 2+2 I'll start cracking up for no reason but that's just me but when I'm stressed or something I become quite, I just smirk at a joke, I'm not me. My Dad has been a witness to this I'm always with him he knows me inside and out. He can tell when I'm stressed. It'll be quite in the car I'm either hungry, mad or stressed, he would know. He would say "hora que te pasó flaco" and just with that I would tell him everything and it I would just feel relief and happy on how he knows me like that. Something that fills me up with unabashed joy would be when I have nothing to worry about, when everything is going good, when my family and I go up to Camden to go eat tacos as if we where in Mexico fills me up with joy. And I'm being so serious like so serious when we went and started eating I felt so happy my dad and mom felt like they were at home I laughed due to joy best experience ever. And also you feel joy when u have that one friend you can count on for everything it makes you feel complete and not alone. I feel like I reacted like that because I felt good and happy and complete so we due to that we feel joy.
I value confidence and the ability to say or do something without being afraid of what anyones says or thinks of you. Many people nowadays are scared to speak up because they think they will get judged and made fun of, and that is the sad truth and many people struggle to find their own confidence. I love when someone is confident in themselves, when someone is fine with taking on new challenges and being bold. Confidence gives the ability to try different things and see what you enjoy and are good at which is great for anyone. Although, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, which is commonly misunderstood. Just because you are confident does not mean you are the best at what you're doing. Don't bring other people down just because you think you are on top.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad that I could scream? I usually am a pretty calm, relaxed person but recently I went through something that could make me scream louder than ever. In one of my past soccer games for Oakcrest I got hurt and this forced me to not play a couple of crucial games in our season. We lost our past two games which put us lower in rankings in our league.
Something that fills me with unabashed joy? Well, that would be being able to play soccer. It fills me with such a joy that words cannot even explain. It is my biggest stress reliever and when I am in school it is all I can think about. When someone is so passionate about something it becomes a priority in their mind and that is what soccer does to me. I have these reactions because knowing I could help in our games but not being able to hurts me so much. I look forward to every single one of our games because playing makes me the happiest I can be.
Value is a powerful word. It could define who someone is and how they think or even act. But I think what I value most is patience. Patience plays such a huge role in my life, as well as the people I surround myself with. If you know me well, you know that I can become very sensitive very easily. Even though I may barely show emotion at times, if I somehow feel hurt in any way by how someone may say something I’ll get pretty upset. But patience plays a role in understanding. Me personally, it takes me a long time to open up and be myself around new people. Like on my travel team, about a year ago when I first joined and knew not one person, I got called mute, as a joke yes but at the time I got a little flustered and anxious because of it. It forced me to talk and open up more, but with patience and time it could have been the same outcome. Don’t get me wrong, I love my team to death and mention being unmute from time to time, but I’m someone who needs patience. Even with my feelings of liking someone, it takes me forever to show any type of emotion to show I could be interested in them, which could sometimes be a bad thing, getting annoyed pretty easily. But you could also know more about me, take the time to really see who i am, and what can be more valuable than that?
ReplyDeleteWhat makes me so angry I could start screaming? Cheating. Not be loyal. That drives me nuts. The saying ‘communication is key’ is no joke. That could make or break a relationship. Why even be in a relationship in the first place if you are just going to end up being with someone else. Personally, no, I have not been heated on. But I couldn’t even imagine how heartbreaking and awful it must feel to be lied to, feeling like you were never good enough for them, constantly pondering what you did wrong. And the excuses some people will make for them trying to justify why what they did was okay. “I never loved her/him” “They never did this for me”. Bullshit. You would of never put in the effort and thought in the first place if that was true.
Something that will always make me smile, turn any bad day into a good one or literally give me chills and butterflies is singing and music. Music has been such a big part in my life for as long as I can remember. One of my favorite things to do in the whole world is when I’m home alone, just belt as many songs as I can, whatever mood I’m in, those songs will get blasted for as long as I can be by myself, in my own little world. I love when music just makes me so emotional. Again, I don’t really like to show my emotions through talking so when I can sing them, they all just flow out like one art piece. I never want to stop singing, or learning more about music in generally, because I’ll be losing apart of my soul, apart of me. And that just sounds terrifying.
I have many things that I value, but if I had to pick in THIS moment I would pick friendship. A support system to fall on when you need it. I tend to pull back from everyone when I’m upset and I keep to myself pushing everyone away. Today was a time when this happened and shockingly I had people there for me comforting me and letting me know they were there. These people probably don’t know but that actually meant a lot to me. Even if it was just a hug, knowing that I have people that care and are there for me is one of the most heartwarming feelings and truly helps. I don’t know what I’d do without my friends and I’m truly grateful. I also value those who make me laugh in times when I’m upset. The people that make me laugh so hard I forget what ever I’m upset about. And that really is the best feeling ever and I appreciate those people.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me so mad I could scream is, is probably myself and the way that I don’t like to express my feelings. I try to hide behind jokes but at the end of the day that doesn’t help me. I try to push all the problems deep down but they end up bringing me down and me being the stubborn person I am, won’t tell anybody when I’m secretly struggling. This is something I really hope to work on and get better with so I can live a happier healthier life.
What fills me with unabashed joy? Many things. My boyfriend. No matter what I have going on in my life, he’s there to make me feel better. He spoils me ENDLESSLY and is such an amazing person. He’s there for me during my annoying rants and will hold me until I feel better or try to feed me when I’m upset which I just find hilarious. My friends who bring me endless laughs when I need them and I love them for that, they ALWAYS know how to cheer me up and I’ll be forever grateful. Even my family brings me joy when they’re not being childish and annoying, especially my little sister Ava who has a special place in my heart and I’d do anything for, and my brother Angel who always has the corniest videos or jokes to tell me and is always looking out for me even if it’s something as small as saving me some food for dinner or sharing his m&ms. Just being in a happy atmosphere where the best memories are being made brings me joy.
I value leadership. For me, the most important thing to have is a leader whether it be a teacher, a student, a coach, or even yourself. I consider myself as a leader in most everything I do except for the things that I'm not so good at or don't understand. For those things, I always look for someone to lead me through it and help me understand well enough that I could help others. Every teacher I have ever had I looked for them to guide me through new things and it isn't always successful. All of us have had that one teacher who just wasn't a good leader, who just taught the lesson and didn't wait for the rest of the class to comprehend. If your suppose to be the figure that I look up too and learn from but your not doing your job, for me that is the most irritating thing. How is it that you're the supposed leader yet you cant make sure the entire group understands? We have also all I had at least one teacher or coach that is capable of making us feel great about something that originally we didn't fully understand. A great leader has the power to change someone's life and I hope that one day I can be that great.
ReplyDeleteSomething that makes me extremely mad is when other people set absurdly unrealistically high expectations for you and get mad or disappointed when you don't reach it. As athlete this happens to me all the time whether it is from family, friends, or coaches. My mom can be accused of doing this the most. I understand that she's my mom and she just wants me to do great things but sometimes she expects me to be able to do everything perfectly and that just isn't me at least not yet. She expects me to be the best at soccer and give my all in that but she also expects me to get 95's or higher in all my classes. I understand that there may be some kids who can do that but I'm certainly not one of them. In order to be great at soccer, I have to go to practice every day and go to bed early every night. In order to reach the goals my mom has set for me academically I have to study and do homework most of my free time. I hope you can see how these two things contradict one another. I'm grateful to have someone who cares but still, sometimes it's just extremely stressful.
In ancient Hindu culture, reincarnation is an accepted part of the religion. Reincarnation has no timeline and only ends when one reaches nirvana or eternal peace. Therefore, according to Hinduism, a person will continue to reincarnate until he or she reaches nirvana. One's reincarnation depends on his or her karma, which is the sum total of his or her choices made in past lives. I could be born into a rich family, be a horrible person, and then reincarnate into a worse situation because of the bad karma that I attained based on my previous life. The reason why I'm saying all of this is to convey an important but hidden truth about life. To quote the Buddha, "Life is suffering." Now, I would like anyone that is reading this to look at my response from a philosophical, and most importantly, objective view. Everyone has worldly attachments. If that were not the case, everyone in the world would be a monk, but we aren't, and you're sitting here and reading my response to this blog post. Back to my controversial statement about life, is it possible to always be happy in this world? I don't believe so. Nothing stays constant in this world, and obstacles exist in this world, whether you believe it came from God, god, gods, science, or anything else.
ReplyDeleteA person's values are always changing, because of his or her constant suffering. However, I firmly believe every person on this world values time, because its something we all share. Our time, and what we do in this world, is the only variable we have control over. Time is the most important possession we have, and because of this, we must use it effectively.
Going back to my original statement about "life is suffering" this world still provides happiness to me, but it is never permanent. It may seem paradoxical, but the phrase "life is suffering" does not mean everyone should live in sadness; it means nothing in this world is constant. What makes me happy now, may not make me happy in the future because of how I change. Albeit, what makes me happy now is most definitely a good conversation. A conversation that makes me think past the surface, and one where I can do the same for the other person. I enjoy conversation because its how we connect with each other. Conversation gives me insight into how someone is thinking and why. Conversation also gives someone else insight into who I am.
I would consider myself a calm and collected person in a normal situation, but I can get excited and agitated quite easily. What fills me with rage and frustrates me is when people reason without logic. I believe logic is the greatest solution to conflict, and when people start solving conflicts with emotions instead of sagacious judgment--problems arise. I think I feel this way in regards to this topic because of my personality. I'm a logical person, and I believe this characteristic has influenced many of the decisions I've made, the people I talk to, and how I carry myself every day. All in all, I hope I didn't make you think I was depressed or going through a hard time, I'm just looking at life in a different perspective.