"I Am...Whatever You Say I Am..."
Ahhh...the unwitting brilliance of Eminem. Waaaay before he was murdering MGK he was gifting us with some genuine pearls of wisdom...and I don't say that sarcastically. When you think about it, other's perceptions of us often turn out to be true--even when we don't want them to be. We can explore this idea later, and we will, but for now, just this.
How many times have you said to yourself, and for that matter, to anyone who would listen--"I don't care what anyone else thinks...".
I know I've said it at least once in the past month--please note, today is the first day of the month...so...yeah, already said it.
In our heart of hearts, though, do we really believe that?
It seems an age-old question, but it is one that may not have just one answer: to what extent do other people's perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make?
Peer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all these outside, or inside, forces have the potential to make you act, or react, in ways that you normally might not if never exposed to those influences.
My question is: Why? Why do we care?
Why is it important?
Why do other people's perceptions or expectations of who we are have so much of an influence on us? Or do they? Be honest with yourself when you answer. After all, it's just us so you can be honest here.
How many times have you said to yourself, and for that matter, to anyone who would listen--"I don't care what anyone else thinks...".
I know I've said it at least once in the past month--please note, today is the first day of the month...so...yeah, already said it.
In our heart of hearts, though, do we really believe that?
It seems an age-old question, but it is one that may not have just one answer: to what extent do other people's perceptions of you have an impact on the decisions you make?
Peer pressure, parental pressure, self-imposed pressure, all these outside, or inside, forces have the potential to make you act, or react, in ways that you normally might not if never exposed to those influences.
My question is: Why? Why do we care?
Why is it important?
Why do other people's perceptions or expectations of who we are have so much of an influence on us? Or do they? Be honest with yourself when you answer. After all, it's just us so you can be honest here.
Why I care about what others think of me is because I want to please others. I want to please my friends, family, even strangers whom I've never met before. We are taught ever since we are young that whenever you do something an adult may want you to do like share your toys, learn to read, and take a bath you will be rewarded. We just want to please others to get that positive feedback. With me when I get a bad grade I am EXTREMELY hard on myself because I feel like I am then a disappointment. The way people perceive me effects my decisions because instead of just thinking of myself and what I want I am then thinking of how others will benefit and how I can please others. I feel like everyone tried to fit in this little box that was made for us when we were born. The ones who do not fit in it are looked as "weird" or "bad". If you do not fit into the box you are most likely going to be judged by many others around you and no one wants to be judged, especially in a negative way. Instead of some people being ourselves we try to fit in the mold of what other people want. I believe the majority of us are influenced by the outside world. But, I mean, props to anyone who doesn't give a sh*t.
ReplyDeleteI feel like all these different forces have the potential to make you act/react because not only do we want to impress others, but we don’t want to mess up our reputation. Everyone has a certain perception of each other which is called a reputation. If you do something someone doesn’t like, it messes up your reputation and vice versa. Most people care about how people view their reputation. That’s why I think we care. We don’t want people making our reputation bad even though we say we don’t care, sometimes deep down we really do. Some people say it depends on the person and it’s whether that person knows you or not. When some random person says something about you it doesn’t matter to and you go on saying , “Oh I don’t care what that person thinks.” It’s because they don’t know the “real” you. And you probably don’t know them either.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it important? Nowadays it’s a part of everyday living and all the choices we make. We do things because of what we think people think about us that we don’t even notice. If no one cared about what anyone thought there wouldn’t even be any feelings. It would be a dull world to live in because everyone would be focused on themselves and have no concern for the people around them. So I guess it’s safe to say it’s important not fro what it is, but what it could be without it.
When you meet a new person you want to give a nice first impression or at least leave off on a positive note. This is so they can pass it on or remember you as a good person the next time you meet them. Other people's perceptions or expectations of who we are has so much of an influence on us because we want to feel good about ourselves. We also want to make other people feel good about themselves so that they don’t have to go through something they shouldn’t. When you feel good about yourself you’re usually in a better mood and you perform better. Some people might call this being “gassed up” but sometimes that’s all it takes to help someone get through a tough time. No one likes to be in a bad mood and feel like shit, it’s bad for that person and the people around them. People don’t like to be put down or be made fun of so they try to avoid that by sometimes doing things they shouldn’t be. It can go the other way too like someone might want to be just better than everyone else so it can influence them to do things they don’t want to. Things like this are why people's perception or expectation of us have such an influence on us.
I’ve struggled with this subject for a really long time. I care what others think of me because I like pleasing others, I like making other people happy. Anything that I can do to brighten someone else's day. It’s important because we live in a world that’s ruled by society—and the moment that you don’t follow the rules you are categorized as an outcast. It really comes down to whether you want to fit in or whether you just don’t care enough to. At this point I feel like I’m in the middle of those things. I don’t think I fit in here at Oakcrest-- since when I came to New Jersey everyone already had their own little groups and clicks. I belong to no groups, I just have individual friendships and I’m okay with that. It’s less drama. I’m also used to it since I move a lot, it’s been the same at every school so far, besides the one in Rep. Dom. Other people's perceptions of me impact my decisions in the way that I’m obligated to certain standards. Like for example it wouldn’t be expected of me to get in a fight, or to talk back to a teacher. Because I know better than that, I was raised better than that. Honestly I just don’t give a firetruck* anymore, I’m so tired of trying. In seventh grade my step dad told me this “how can you make other people happy, if you’re not happy? Alex you are not perfect, so stop trying to be.” That was a big eye opener. Since then I’ve learned to take time for myself and to just be myself around my peers. My flaws make me who I am. If you don’t like me then too bad.
ReplyDeleteI subconsciously remind myself that I should never care what anyone thinks about me. So I say I don’t care yet deep down I still do. It really depends, see if I’m feeling like a bad b I will probably say I don’t care. BUT if I’m in my sad boy hours late at night, I’ll probably cry over something someone said about me in second grade. Mood is everything when it comes to whether I care or not and the level of caring.
ReplyDeleteIn my heart, I do care, and I’m okay with that. In no way am I ashamed to say I do or say certain things to please others. It’s a natural instinct and almost everyone does it, why be ashamed of yourself if everyone does it? That’s just goofy.
People’s perceptions of me affect me a lot. If you’re running around spreading a lie, I might just ask why you have so much free time. But once people start deciding who I am without even knowing me, is when I start to get salty. Honestly it only upsets me if it’s someone close, that makes my heart hurt.
When I was younger I ALWAYS said, “MOM I PROMISE I WONT GET PEER PRESSURED. THATS JUST NOT ME!!!”. But here I am with a list full of things I probably wouldn’t do on my own terms. Not that I didn’t want to do certain things on that list, but without any persuasion or opinions, I’d probably not even think to do any of it. They don’t even have to be bad, just in general. I don’t know why we get pressured so easily. It makes us rethink our entire makeup, what we first thought, we can completely disagree with later on. Same goes for caring what people think of us, some of us go into a mental breakdown solely based off what Becky in third period thinks of our outfit. Just kidding. But you get the point. We always say “live in the moment!” but that also means stress in the moment too. In high school everything feeds off drama, hook ups, and who’s wearing a flee outfit. But life is so much more than that, a concept high schoolers aren’t capable of. Yes, I’m a high schooler, yes I’m aware of all of this, do I think about this when I’m being petty and subtweeting someone? NO! Therefore, it is SO SO natural to care about what people think, not only in high school, work places too. Honestly, coworker drama seems terrifying.... I’ve heard some pretty whacky stories. But that’s besides the point. We care because it’s about us. We want only certain parts of us put out there and the second something is said that might tear our egos or reputation, we put up a shield and fire back, hopefully not literally but mentally.
Personally I would never want someone thinking a was a terrible person without knowing me. We all just want a chance to show the best parts of ourselves. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter, however, it must matter to some extent if it affects us so much in the moment.
Ever since I was a little kid, my parents constantly reminded me that I was different and that I shouldn't let the way other people thought of me get to me. I’ve always lived that way growing up and opinions didn’t matter to me at all, however that changed when I got into high school. I tell people that I don’t really care how they think me but deep down beneath the surface it really did matter. One little bad or offensive thing always got to me. On the outside I would play it off and act like I didn’t care one single bit, but I would constantly think about that one comment. I would try my best to show people that whatever they said about me was not true and I would do my best to fix it. I think that we care about what other people think of us because we want to do our best to impress. We want to show others that we are better than they think. We want to show the public that we are different than how they perceive us. If somebody makes up rumors about you, you try to best to prove them wrong. You want to show them that this is not me and how you look at me is completely wrong. This is important because the way that society looks upon you can either bring you up or bring you down. People start judging you even before they know who you really are. If somebody says something about me that is completely not true, I always try my best to ignore it, but sometimes I’m unable to and I let it get to the best of me.
ReplyDeleteIf somebody that I knew really well started saying stuff about me, of course I would get upset and maybe bawl my eyes out, but that pushes me to try harder. Peoples perspective influence us so much because we really want to put out that vibe where it’s like “oh I’m a cool kid”. We always try our best to put out an image where it’s better than everybody else. We strive for the top tier. Society classifies us under categories based on what we look like, who we hang out with, and even what we wear. We care because it puts us in the situation where it is only ourselves. We can’t let people talk bad about our own name, so we do our best to change the ideas that people already have. People always want to do their best to move up in the categories and eventually people start changing the way they dress, act, or even look. We want to put out the best for everybody to see, even if it’s just in that exact moment that this is all happening.
Everytime I told myself, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks” I was lying to myself. What some people may think does have an impact on me and my decisions. Although I grew up not having a care in the world what others thought with my DC high tops, that all changed around middle and especially high school. There has been multiple times where I didn’t care what someone thought of me because I simply didn’t even know them well enough to care what they believed. But, if it’s someone close or someone I’m trying to impress it’s a whole different story. I care what someone thinks of me all depending who it is and what they are thinking whether it’s based off of something true or not.
ReplyDeleteWhen I present myself physically, I show no interest in the world that I care what others think. Deep deep down though, I care. Let's be honest it’s just a natural thing to most people. I care about certain things because it simply may be more important to me what they think. Sometimes we try to create a different image of ourselves so others accept us and have nothing negative to say. If it’s something really little I’m not going to let it bother me DEPENDING on my mood and who said it. If it’s something offensive then there goes my whole day, possibly longer. Whenever something is said I will think about it and remember longer than others think. When I’m around my friends I won’t even think about it but when I’m alone all my thoughts and feelings of what someone may have said gets to me. If a rumor starts that isn’t true I’m definitely going to find a way to let you know that it isn’t. I tend to think we care so much typically in high school depending on who and what it’s about because we want to be a person ranked high on someone else's “cool people” list. We try to impress others so much without sometimes realizing it. Personally I think people base their opinions off of how you dress, your personality, who you hang with and your actions. This is important because when others think something about you, it either brings you up if it’s something positive or brings you down. Friendships have been ruined because people will drop their true friends if one person thinks their not cool because they hang out with them. The worst thing is that people know your name but not your story and their so quick to judge without even knowing you.
What people think influences us because we want people to only know the good things we’ve done and that’s all we want out there. The second something is out there that we never wanted to have out there, we go straight to how our reputation will be. Some care way too much about their egos that they lose their true self and they wonder why their not the same anymore.
I honestly have changed parts of myself based on others and what they have said. Some things that I’ve changed I thought it was better for me and some I realized that I don’t need to change and that I need to stop caring about them and only focus on myself. If you’re happy with yourself that’s all that matters.
No matter how many times we say the phrase "I don't care what anyone else thinks," deep down, we really do care. I think that the reason that we, or myself in particular, care so much about what other people think is because it puts a certain thought of you in someone's head. If they've heard bad things about you, then they're going to view you as a bad person or assume that you're someone that you're really not. We care about what others think, because we don't want a bad rep for ourselves. People have this thought in their head that they have to be one of the "cool kids" or have to do certain things to fit in. If you chose not to do something because you feel that someone won't like you or will say something about you, then that is a big impact in your life. If you don't do what you want, then you're not being true to yourself. To be completely honest, I feel as though I've stopped caring what others say or think about me, at least a little bit anyway. I try not to let it get to me because I know that even if they do think these things, that there's nothing I can do about it and they can think what they want, because I know the truth. I'm not going to lie, I still do care what people think about me, to some degree, because everyone does, even if they say they don't. I've come a long way with slowly trying to stop caring what others think and just doing what makes me happy, and it has been so much better to live like this. A part of me is always going to care about what people think about me, but it helps a lot to care less. You can't control what others think you, so you might as well just do what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteAs far as strangers and friends go, I don't care what they think of me. If you don't like me don't talk to me. Its your loss. I won't thing twice. As for my sisters, I put so much stock in what they think of me because who they think I am reveals the type of guy they look for. So I try to be the best I can for them and it hurts when they call me out on the truth. Because I know its true, they see it, and it means I need to fix my image for them.
ReplyDeleteInside of everyone there's a bit of a cinderella complex. A feeling of self worth that comes from others approval instead of generating confidence and self worth from yourself. Everyone seeks approval in some way shape or form. Athletes seek from coaches, followers from leaders, offspring from parent, even friend from friend.
In some ways, what other people think DO matter and very well SHOULD matter. For example, a job interview. The whole reason you may or may not get that job opening, depends on how much you care what your interviewer thinks of you.
In conclusion, in society when it comes to drama, I find it more progressive to not care what haters think because they'll always be lower than you. Personally, I stopped trying to seek approval from my biological parents long ago. It proved futile. Profesionally, you should care what your boss or interviewer thinks of you because your future job, promotion, or pay raise can and will depend on what they think of you and if you're worth it.
When it comes to peer pressure or like how people see me i don't care. i like to present myself in a certain way wear somewhat nice clothes but thats just the style i like. Even though i don't care i don't act too wild because then other people will be affected not just my image. I have lived with parental pressure most of my life. but recently i havent cared about that either like i just do what i do and if someone has an issue with me being me then i wouldn't care about being close with them anyway. I care what my friends think of me though, there are those who i can't just let go and if we have our differences then we always make up. There are people who i might just change myself to save our relationship. I would like to say that i'm not affected by peer pressure. If someone i don't know asks me to do something stupid i'm prolly just gonna say no but if one of my friends are doing something ill think before acting like always but if their going im coming with them. Not entirely just because they are doing it in the end im making the decision for myself. After all, we wouldn't be close in the first place if we weren't drawn to do similar things
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ReplyDeleteI think the effect of peer pressure or any type of the nature of persuasion is all subject to the type of recipient that person is. People receive and process things differently and the effect could be different. I personally care what certain people think of me. It’s usually my family or my teachers and boss. The one thing that’s important to me is not disappointing the people I seek approval from. This does affect my actions, most things I do are based on what my mom or my grandma thinks of me. Sometimes I feel like I’m under so much pressure to be someone so great, that no one in my entire family has ever been. The need for a approval comes from my fear of failure and disappointment. I’m also a really big people pleaser. I will do anything to please someone else even if that meant stressing myself out until I implode. It’s hard not to fall under the peer pressures of life when all you wanna do is please everyone else. So when I tell myself to not care what people think, deep down I’m constantly making decisions based on certain people’s perspectives of me. I wish I could say that I honestly don’t care what people think of me, some of my anxieties wouldn’t even matter.
ReplyDeleteI have told myself so many times why should I give a shit about what someone else thinks? They aren’t apart of my life so why should i let what they say or think affect me? I usually say it a lot after having breakdowns which honestly is A LOT. I say it to make myself feel better about myself but deep down I know that it’s not true. I personally have very little self confidence which is a major issue but I just care too much about what others think or say about me. The thought of someone judging me just makes me feel so scared I don’t know why. I try to put up a front to be some perfect person when I honestly am nowhere even close to being perfect. If I feel like doing something or wearing something a certain way will get me judged I won’t wear it or do it. In fact I’ll avoid it at all costs just because I am so tired of being judged by others. I don’t let peer pressure get to me though because I won’t allow someone else to make me feel forced to do something harmful to myself like drinking or drugs, I have no interest in that because that is one of the reasons my family all hates each other it tears people apart. Now that I think of it I don’t let people pressure me into things but I do things to please those people with the way I dress and act which is so stupid because why should I care at all? We tend to care so much about what others think or have to say because we want to have everyone’s approval. We don’t want to feel like total outcasts and like we don’t belong or have a group. Feeling all alone in high school sucks I feel like that a lot but I am starting to feel like I belong a bit more. Ever since freshman year I have been judged and bullied for being myself I’m not going to go into much detail on my freshman experience right now though because I am doing an OP on it but it was brutal. I felt like when I tried to be myself people hated me the most so I started dressing like everyone else and doing tons of makeup and just not being who I truly am. I regret doing that because that has now followed me all the way up to my senior year and I wish I could go back and do high school all over again. Trying to impress other people is so silly the more I think about it. I let all of these people control how my life went if something wasn’t socially acceptable I didn’t do it even if I loved it. I let them think for me, speak for me, and change me and it wasn’t for the better either which is the worst part. Our society sucks, we have all of these rules to follow in order to fit in and we have social media to thank. It’s always the most irrelevant people opinions that matter the most.
ReplyDeleteThere are few people that I truly care what they think of me my family, my teammates, and Lyanni. What these people think of me has a big impact on my decision making because I want them to be happy with me. With that said I wouldn't say that changes how I act on a day to day bases, I'm the same person with them as I am when I'm with random people. I think the reason we care what people think of us is because every human has a need to fit in so in order to do that we will change ourselves in order to impress the other person. We do this because in our minds if the other person is impressed than that means you will be accepted. This isn't a negative thing to try and fit in it is kinda important in shaping society. What I mean by this is everybody tries to fit in whether it's with a positive group or negative group everyone wants to feel apart of something. The reason we care about what people think is because most of us want to please everyone so we constantly strive for that.
ReplyDeleteHuman nature is an interesting phenomenon. So interesting that we have created a whole science to decipher human nature: psychology. The unfortunate reality is, there is no possible way to solve human nature because everyone is unique. However, one generalization I carry around in the back of my mind is that people are always looking for belonging and acceptance. People want to laugh. People want to love. People want to live. I'm a logical person (also known as a nerd), so I usually observe situations and take stances based on solid reasoning rather than abstract feelings.
ReplyDeleteLooking back at history, people grouped themselves and found acceptance through various means. Whether it be through region, religion, race, etc., people always found a group to associate themselves with because they got acceptance and love from that group. This is human nature, and this will always be human nature. So when people say things about me and I say I don't care--it's not true. Words have a way of sticking to our brain, and what people say always affects us. Sometimes words barely affect us and they bounce right off, but we still think about. Sometimes, words can destroy us. The difference between how words affect me is how much respect I have for the person who talks. People have called me selfish. People have called me arrogant. People have called me useless. These people have also never had more than a 10-second conversation with me. In my perspective, I am none of these things. If someone who I respected told me I possessed these negative qualities, I would change myself, but that hasn't happened yet, and I hope it never does happen.
It's easy to believe that one's harmful words don't have any impact on our being, but I believe that is completely false. We all want to be liked and appreciated by the people we care about. From personal experience, I've realized that when people say something good about me which isn't true, I find myself trying to mold or alter my personality into what they believe of me. When someone I respect says something bad about me, I tend to change my personality to the exact opposite of what they said. Maybe these are personal mannerisms, maybe they're not, but it definitely has something to do with the human nature of craving acceptance. At the beginning of the year, when you (Bunje) said words have great power over us, I didn't think much of it. As time passed, I can somewhat grasp what you meant by that. Words have power and what people say affects us, whether we like it or not. It all depends on how we deal with the words.
The reason I care about how people view me is because I’m a people pleaser. I like to make everyone happy and I don’t want them to think badly of me. I think the way people are viewed by others is important to them, and me, that they aren’t seen as a bad person. I think they just want to be viewed as they view themselves. For example: if someone is kind and does everything for everyone but someone calls them clingy or an attention whore. If we think of ourselves as a good person who’s friendly and kind,and someone thinks you’re an attention whore, it’s going to affect you. Other people’s perceptions have an influence on us because we want ourselves to be viewed in a good and positive way. If we are viewed in a negative way we are going to think about it and wonder. Others‘ opinions influence the way we think of ourselves. And that doesn’t just go for someone making a comment about you. It can be something like just wanting approval from certain people like parents. They make you think that getting an A on everything is the way to make them proud so automatically if you have that mindset and get a bad grade, you feel like a disappointment. Or maybe your parents get upset because you didn’t do something they asked the right way and suddenly that makes you stupid. Me personally, I have a lot of pressure from my family to be the greatest. And it’s hard because if I don’t meet their requirements it’s like I’m not good enough, even if I tried my best. And that’s the worst feeling, coming home to your parents and being proud of yourself for an achievement but it not being enough to make them proud of you. It puts you down right away. I truly find those that don’t let others’ opinions and words get to them. To be able to walk around with criticisms thrown at you and they just bounce off and don’t bother you, I think that’s a quality I’d love to pick up on.
ReplyDeleteI used to never care what other people think but when you start to get older it changes. There’s also pressure from your family and from people around you. I care about what others think because I want to please everyone. I also care because if people were to spread something me that wasn’t true I don’t want people's feelings toward me to change because I love when people love me and I don’t want someone to think I am someone I’m not. I know that can be a bad thing but being loved is so valuable to me and i feel like love from others helps me so much because I struggle to love myself. Being me is a lot of pressure by my peers and my family because I do not want to let anyone down. I care if someone thinks I’m mean or thinks I’m annoying because I feel like I made someone unhappy and I just want everyone to be happy and I want to make everyone happy. I’m a people pleaser, if someone thinks I was annoying them or mean to them it honestly hurts me and that’s when I really care what people think because I don’t want someone to be unhappy because of me and I don’t want to feel unloved or unwanted. This probably sounds confusing but I feel like some people could relate to that. When it comes to family my dad expects a lot from me because I’m an honors and ap student and he doesn’t want me to fail especially when my older sisters did a pretty good job in school it’s up to be like them or better. I don’t like when people are disappointed in me, I care about what he thinks because that’s someone who has high expectations for me and I don’t want to let him down. I feel like the one thing that prevents me from acting a certain way sometimes is how I know how disappointed people would feel or how unhappy people would be with me. There is a lot of pressure put on me to make others happy and I don’t want to mess up.
ReplyDeleteI want to say I don’t care about what people think about me, but I definitely do. Why do I give a crap? I’d say it’s because of how I am as a person. I guess passionate is the best way to describe how I perceive emotions. I love to understand what makes a person tick, mentally. I feel like that is the best way to comprehend each other’s words in order to behave a certain way around them. Basically, adapting to each and every person’s personality. I assume I care about how people think about me because words hold a high standard in my eyes. Not everyone feels that way, and those people either care less or not at all. Sometimes, caring about how other people look at is necessary to improve as a human being. For example, when people expect us to do something important, it motivates us to work more thoroughly and improve ourselves. However, caring too much can cause you to doubt your capabilities and ultimately prevent you from being “socially acceptable.” Life is all about finding happy mediums. But woe is me! Are any of us really perfect as we hold other people’s standards to? Didn’t think so. Yet we still care so much about how we’re thought of because people don’t like to convey how they feel. Humans are unsurprisingly the most complex creatures to exist.
ReplyDeleteEveryone cares what others think about you it doesn't matter who you are, it will affect you in some way. And yes i do care what others say about me sometimes. For me it sorta depends on what they are saying if its something bad it might effect me the whole day. If its someone that i don’t even know i won’t think about what they say because i am just giving them more attention then they need to have. People’s perceptions make a big impact on our decisions. The biggest example of this is clothing. We all want to wear the newest Jordan's because if not we will feel left out and probably get roasted. We all want to be part of the wave some how. This is all a part of peer pressured, someone or something is telling us what to do. We care what others think because it changes our reputation. We don’t want to be seen as a bad person because it changes the way people view and the people that approach you. Its important to care what others think because we can’t just say that phrase every time. What if they are right and we just say i don't care what u say, making you careless. We have to find a gap when it is right to say that phrase and when it is not. We also have to give it attention because what if its a lie? Then we start worrying and worrying and we try to fix it. Other people’s perceptions and expectations have a greatly vase influence on us. We try to meet the expectations because we are now at a higher level of education so we should know what we are doing. And by not filling those expectations it changes other people’s perception on us. Just recently my bio teacher said “You guys shouldn’t be handing assignments late. Some of you guys also are in AP classes and i know they don’t like late work.” So us as “AP students” should meet the certain expectations.
ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna lie, I do care 100% what people think of me. Over time, I have learned that people will talk badly about you, it is inevitable. I've had teammates talk about me behind my back, and I've had friends talk about me behind my back after we got into a stupid argument. No, I don't have trust issues or anything, but I have taught myself to use it in a positive way. The teammates who talked about me only pushed me harder to become a better player, and the friend who talked about me taught me to be not insecure and to not worry about what others say. I'm not saying I wasn't offended, though. How can I just forget that someone said I wasn't "good" at the sport I love? How can I just forget that the friend who talked about me said they hate my laugh, which is something people know me for? I think what people say has such an influence on us because we are people-pleasers, it's just human nature. Nobody wakes up every morning saying, "I wish she would talk about me behind my back! I hope she hates me!", that's just not how it works. I know for a fact I will have people talk negatively about me in the future, but you know what they say, let them talk. They are behind you for a reason.
ReplyDeleteI feel as everyone in their life as said "I don't care what they think" when in reality, it's the complete opposite. So why do we care so much? Well, I can answer that for myself pretty easily. I think one of the worst feelings could be thinking one of your best friends thinks of you one way but talks about you a whole different way. I'll only care about what is being said about me if it's by someone I put effort into and love for so dearly. I get so upset over this because I so them everything I am, tell them nothing but the truth, and lies are the thing that gets spread around about me. When I think about peer pressure, the first thing I think about or feel is anxiety and feeling overwhelmed in a sense. Personally, I have never been pressured into anything. But for those who have, I have so much respect and sympathy for you. You are a strong individual and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
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ReplyDeleteDue to my personal experiences, it is to my understanding that humans, in a way, have a mechanism of which convinces us to care. Meaning, all of the instances that I can recall of people making decisions of those around us, have been influenced by the desire to warp peoples interpretation. Everyone wishes to be perfect; or at least come close. No matter what generation, what universe, humans will never change in this way. It appears that the main goal of the human species is to be better than one another. To consider someone to be powerful, or more than rather, it is a great thing, a highly valued trait which people unrecognizably seek. People value those who are considered “better”. This can be measured in their occupation, wealth, or social status. These are all things which determine (in most cases at least) how someone treats you. This is the sad truth. So, with all of this in mind, I believe people care so much because they desire to be viewed as someone better than those around them. This is why people’s opinions influence us more than we would like them to, because people are too afraid of being themselves, or anything other than what people know. This is because of the fact that they are afraid of the repercussions of changing, or being unliked. Going back to the subject of love, people are horrified of being alone, another factor that is built into our brain almost, is needing love. It is as if our brain screams that we will not be accepted, and in turn not receive attention or love due to that. It is to my understanding that this will never change, no matter how many claims people throw about “not caring”. It is not necessarily something you can control. For if it were, life as a whole would not be the reality as we know it to be.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be completely honest I fell asleep at 6 after my game and I know late work doesn't count but I am just gonna finish it. We care what other people think because it is how they see us as a person. If they are thinking bad about you, they will see you as a bad person overall and some people don't like others viewing them like that. We know that if we try to be the best person we can be and people don't realize that, it bothers us. We want everyone around us to have a positive perspective on us.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone makes a rumor about you it can be the most detrimental thing. It is a fake statement about you and it is really hard to fix it because everyone is already believing the rumor. Some people act like what other people say doesn't affect them but deep down it does but it is hard to admit to everyone. Even if something is not true people don't know that and just go off of what they first hear. It stinks but that's the way it usually is. But, if you try to be the best person you can be everyday in your life, people will have the best opinion of you.
The reason we care is because in human nature, we are afraid to be ostracized from society. Humans are social creatures and therefore, by not being accepted, we lose all sense of being. Although this changes from person to person based on a plethora of defining characteristics, it's safe to say, everyone cares about others opinions. A simply comment from a stranger about an insecurity can make you think about it for days. Why do we care what they think? Because in the back of our mind we generalize this and assume everyone sees/thinks this. When a stranger says it, it might not hurt as much because we don't know them and they're not apart of our direst society. However when a friend, a peer, or a family member mentions something that hurts us, it hurts us more. This is because these peoples opinions matter to us more and we care what they think all due to the fact that they are apart of our little society. I would be much more hurt if my parents called me ugly then if a stranger did simply because my parents opinion, on a daily basis, affects me more than that strangers. I'm not as affected by peoples opinions because honestly at this point in my life, I can realize and embrace my flaws. I can usually play them off as jokes and then just forget about them but that's just me. I can realize I'm annoying and weird and sometimes too social but honestly, if those aren't characteristics that someone can put up with, chances are I won't like them either. In reality, people's opinions matter but only on a psychological level. A person's opinion on me doesn't affect my ability to live and therefore, I can push off opinions that hurt because they at that point, become irrelevant.
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