There's No Place like Home...School...the Cove...
As a kid, I moved around A LOT. It wasn't until I was 15 and a sophomore in high school that I was ever in the same school for more than a year.
Because of this--well, because of many things but this is just easier to point a finger at--I have never been able to go back to a place where I lived and say, "This was my home--I belonged here." Feeling as though we belong somewhere has a tremendous impact on who we are and who we may one day become.
The need to belong is an evolutionary one, embedded in most people's genetic make-up.
Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist who conceptualized what is now known as an individual's "Hierarchy of Needs,” reasoned that the need to belong is third on the pyramid to a fulfilling life (the first two are pretty basic--physiological and safety needs), and without that feeling, we simply cannot advance, grow or ever fully become the people we are destined to be.
So--what do you think?
Do you, at the young and impressionable age of 16 or 17, feel the inherent need to belong?
I bold that because feeling the need and feeling that you actually DO belong are sometimes two very different things. The most popular people you can imagine, the ones who are in every club, do every sport, go to every party--do you think THEY feel as though they belong?
If you feel like you do belong somewhere--where is it?
What makes you feel that way?
What does that sense of belonging do for you and your self-esteem?
If you don't feel as though you belong somewhere--why not?
What do you feel is missing?
Are you misunderstood, undervalued, overlooked?
What does NOT feeling like you belong do for you and your self-esteem?
A lot to ponder over--trust me, I know. Give it some thought and tell me about it.
Because of this--well, because of many things but this is just easier to point a finger at--I have never been able to go back to a place where I lived and say, "This was my home--I belonged here." Feeling as though we belong somewhere has a tremendous impact on who we are and who we may one day become.
The need to belong is an evolutionary one, embedded in most people's genetic make-up.
Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist who conceptualized what is now known as an individual's "Hierarchy of Needs,” reasoned that the need to belong is third on the pyramid to a fulfilling life (the first two are pretty basic--physiological and safety needs), and without that feeling, we simply cannot advance, grow or ever fully become the people we are destined to be.
So--what do you think?
Do you, at the young and impressionable age of 16 or 17, feel the inherent need to belong?
I bold that because feeling the need and feeling that you actually DO belong are sometimes two very different things. The most popular people you can imagine, the ones who are in every club, do every sport, go to every party--do you think THEY feel as though they belong?
If you feel like you do belong somewhere--where is it?
What makes you feel that way?
What does that sense of belonging do for you and your self-esteem?
If you don't feel as though you belong somewhere--why not?
What do you feel is missing?
Are you misunderstood, undervalued, overlooked?
What does NOT feeling like you belong do for you and your self-esteem?
A lot to ponder over--trust me, I know. Give it some thought and tell me about it.
I feel like I do have the need to feel like I belong because if I don't feel like I don't it shuts me down and I just feel left out and unloved. Feeling like you don't belong in a certain group or anything can make you feel alone and it can hurt like hell especially if you are a very insecure person. Lately with a lot of things that have been going on in my life I feel like I am alone and like I don't belong really anywhere sometimes. Its crazy because some people might read this and be like "Priscilla feeling like this? Insane!" but its true. I feel like in friend groups or sports or family or anything nobody listens to me much and it makes me want to push some people away and take a breath. I have some of my girls and guy friends who care and love me to death but the slightest change in tone or harsh words can really effect me and make me feel like I don't belong anywhere and I should just be by myself because nobody can understand what i'm trying to say or understand what I am going through. I feel like so many people value me but I don't value myself so it makes me believe that nobody actually cares a lot about me and its scary how insecurities can do this to you and how you can be your biggest enemy. I feel like I am overlooked sometimes and my feelings are overlooked because nobody really expects me to be upset or have stuff going on so they brush past me because its me its Priscilla when is Priscilla ever sad so people overlook me and my feelings but there are some people in my life that notice the slightest change in me and I love them for that and I love them for noticing. Since I haven't been feeling like I belong lately I have noticed that its just really damaging and it makes me feel alone and not cared for even though I literally am loved by so many people. I just have so many things going on in my life that I take everything to heart and push away easily. Not many people know this all about me and that's why it's very hard to be close friends with me sometimes because I can be really difficult because of how sensitive I am when I'm in times of need.
ReplyDeleteFeeling like I belong is something I have not felt in a while now. As a little girl I never really cared if I belonged or not because we were all the same back then all we ever wanted to do was play. Now that I am seventeen years old and about to go head out into the real world I feel lost. I try my absolute best to fit in but I still stand out compared to everyone else. I feel like popular kids don’t feel like they belong at first but that’s why they join clubs and sports. Their team become their friends and they people they socialize with the most this is why everyone kind of fits into a certain category and some people just have nowhere to go, I am one of those people. It’s all about the labels nowadays you either have one or you are considered an outcast which I think is pretty fucked up. I am not the type of person who put myself out there and people don’t really know too much about me. I guess I have not felt like I belong since I started high school. I was a new student to the district because I came from Vineland, New Jersey. I always considered myself sort of like a wild card like I could be popular or I could be an outcast. A lot happened my freshman year and that placed me as an outcast. I am not saying that I am one of those people who have absolutely no friends whatsoever but I was at one point and it wasn’t really until my junior year I made a couple of friends. I feel like people don’t really take the time to get to know me. I wish they did because I would love having some new people to meet but I’m just overlooked I suppose. Anyways feeling like you don’t belong has messed up my self-esteem a lot, I feel like I don’t really belong anywhere except for when I am with my boyfriend and his family and in the rooms 115, and 204. Boyer and Bunje always make me feel like I belong and I feel loved by them both! :) I see them everyday basically because I don’t feel welcome in my own “home” so I don’t spend much time there I just shower and sleep there now pretty much. I become depressed a lot when I feel out of place, I cry, and just get really anxious. Feeling all alone is pretty upsetting because all you want to do is feel like you belong somewhere
ReplyDeleteTo belong is to be content with your surroundings, your way of doings. Belonging to a specific group, sport, category, or social topic isn’t my cup of tea. Yes I do enjoy having people close to me to talk to and knowing someone is there if I need them. But I never truly feel like I belong. I think it has a lot to do with not going to the same elementary school as everyone around me, as silly as that sounds. Where I lived and managed to make friends second through sixth grade, everyone that are my friends now, knew each other since second grade. So as much as I surround myself with my friends who yes I love dearly, I don’t think I’ll ever feel truly fit. There’s just always that lack of connection, which not everyone can comprehend if you’ve never been in those shoes.
ReplyDeletePeople who are in every club, do every sport, and go to parties, describes myself to a minor extent. Change “every club” to “many clubs”, change “do every sport”, to “does sports”, and “goes to parties” to “has gone to parties”. Coming from a familiar stand point I can speak for those people, and here I am. Still feeling like I don’t completely belong, therefore there’s so many different aspects to life that can alter this emotion, this feeling of content.
Belonging somewhere boosts your self esteem because then you have a sense of security. You have somewhere to calls yours and always feel like you fit in.
Times when I do feel like I belong are when I’m with my friends, constantly laughing. Those moments you wish could happen all the time. Another place I feel like I belong is out on the lacrosse field throwing a catching, and doing drills with my best friend, Priscilla Crenny. We just love that sport so much, I can’t explain it. I think being surrounded by something or someone you love is a very humbling feeling, therefore you’re at peace and feel like you belong.
I’m misunderstood, undervalued, and overlooked 100%, by my peers and family sometimes. It sucks but in the end it makes me want to work harder to be the best I can be.
Not feeling like you belong is very depressing. You need to belong somewhere or have that feeling at some point because it’s literally required for survival. Being all hippyish and saying you don’t belong to a group isn’t what I mean either. The level of belonging I’m talking about it labeling your sexuality, gender, and more. Missing a huge characteristic like those can tear you part. Some people are okay with not being specified in those ways, which is respected, but speaking towards people who are lost and want that label to call theirs… It’s not the easiest path mentally. Moral of the story is, not belonging to something is very damaging to your self esteem and makes people question what’s wrong with them. Personally, I can relate and have wasted many tears over it.
For a plant to thrive it must have a chance to not just grow, but thrive and flourish, it must have the opportunity to plant and embed its roots in healthy soil. If a bonsai tree, cactus, orchid, or any plant for that matter, is planted in the wrong soil, with the incorrect levels of phosphorus, nitrogen, and other elements, it will not grow properly. A plant has to belong in its environment. This is the same for adolescent and juvenile humans. If a young adult does not grow up in a healthy living environment, or is incapable of planting roots in a designated spot, it will grow with a detachment complex where he or she constantly attempts to find a place to belong, incapable of knowing what belonging feels like.
ReplyDeleteSports, extracurricular activities, and social events do help an individual feel a sense of belonging. As an athlete, i know personally that i’m surrounded by brothers who share the same drive, goals, and work ethic as me, and push me to be my best. As someone involved in extracurricular clubs and activities like ROTC community service opportunities and colorguard practices and events, im always around people that accept me and joke around and talk with me. Being around team and club atmospheres opens up a feeling in an individual where family-like relationships are formed, and therefore creating a “Home away from home” environment. This is a safe place for them if they lack a close family relationship at their house.
The reason i refer to some people's homes as houses is because for some, that's all it is. A roof over their head. Nothing more. “Home is where the heart is.” I’ve heard this saying many times. That saying doesn't necessarily mean you have to have one designated place where you belong. My heart goes out to my family, my team, my close friends. I have a place of belonging in a multitude of places. On the mat, at my home, in ROTC...in 204. It’s the acceptance and openness of others that gives me that sense of belonging. There’s no rejection or bad vibes in any environment where i feel i belong. Knowing i belong somewhere definitely puts my anxiety at ease. It makes me feel like a better person than what my doubts tell me at times.
One place i feel i don’t belong is at my father’s house. There is a constant sense of tension whenever i’m around him or that house. It’s the lack of relationship and the toxicity of his personality and his reactions towards me. He constantly puts me down and is incapable of showing he is proud of me despite any accomplishment. I have tried planting my roots with him multiple times because he is blood. He’s always tried to embed in me that “Blood is thicker than water” however blood doesn't make you family. I never felt like i belonged in his house because he wasn't capable of love or compassion. He didn't have the necessary nutrients for my roots. Having that feeling of not belonging somewhere, especially in a blood tied situation, really messes with your head and brings you down because you want to love them and want to belong with them, but you can’t force an orchid to grow in a dessert...
The feeling of belonging is something that I personally can’t explain. I never really felt like I’ve truly belonged anywhere. Ever since I was a little kid, I moved around often with my parents because of work, so I never really experienced what it’s like to “belong.” During my time in middle school, I’ve moved around every single year. Not one year was I at the same school. I constantly had to make new friends and open up again and again to people who I’ll never really talk to again. The friends that I have now are my friends that I want to cherish for a lifetime. I love my friends so much, however deep down inside of me, my brain constantly tells me that I’m different. I will never really fit into the group of friends that I have because I didn’t grow up with them. The most popular people that does every sport or does every club, or goes to every party, I think deep down inside they know that they don’t belong, so they join these club and sport teams to feel the sense of belonging. Out on the field or out at somebody’s party, they feel the sense of belongingness because they are noticed. They are recognized by people and that's where the sense of them belonging comes from. A time where I feel that I belong somewhere is when I’m laughing and giggling with my friends that I cherish for a lifetime. I think that I feel this way is because the little moments are so important to us. It allows us to accept the idea that we truly belong somewhere with someone. I think that the sense of belonging allows to feel calm and filled with happiness. Nothing could possibly ever ruin the day. It brings you so much consent and you’re truly happy with life. I definitely think that I’m misunderstood, undervalued, and overlooked, and those moments are the worst. It makes me rethink everything that I’ve said or done and it just makes me feel out of place. I believe that everybody needs to feel the sense of belonging because it allows you to have a true home that you can go back too. The sense of not belonging really hurts and it brings your confidence down. You feel as if you don’t have anyone or anywhere to go and you just do the things you have to do without any emotions. It hurts.
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ReplyDeleteOut of all places that I have tried to feel like I belong, I never do. Socially, all friend groups I try to be apart of all fail. The only place that I truly always feel like I belong is in the pool. Being on a swim team makes me feel content and makes me feel like I have a purpose. Here and there my mentality of how I want to do isn’t the same with my performance and those races frustrate me a lot but everyone with their sports have their off days. However, those times where I achieve exactly what I want makes my heart filled with complete satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the popular people who do every sport, club, attend every party feel like they don’t belong anywhere at first, so that’s why they join all them things and attend the parties to help them feel wanted and needed.
What makes me feel this way are all my teammates and coaches. From swimming on a variety of club teams, the most I feel like I fit in is the last club I joined. The Seahawks Swim Team is my home and I’ve made a bunch of friends that I will have forever. Having the support system of my teammates, coaches to push me, and my family who’s always there cheering me on and believing in me is why I feel like I belong so much. With the Oakcrest Swim Team, Eric is a factor of why I feel like I belong. Eric pushes me, helps build up my confidence and believes in me so much, even at times when I don’t believe in myself. The passion and determination I have for this sport is uncomparable and so hard to explain to anyone who thinks swimming is “stupid” because you just swim laps back and forth. It is so much more to me and others.
My self-esteem is very low when I’m with others and when I’m at school. As soon as I enter that place where I belong, it really does boost my self-esteem. My performance is everything whether it’s good or bad. If I do terrible, I will get so pissed at myself and won’t talk to anyone. When I do really well, there’s no explaining how pleased I feel with myself. All in all, whatever happens, the love I have for this sport will never change and my self-esteem seems to boost because I get a sense of security, I feel at peace and I feel needed.
In most aspects of my life, I feel like I belong. I belong on the softball field, I belong in advanced classes at school, I belong in the goofy family I am apart of. However, I feel like I most belong whenever I am with my friends. Whenever I am with them I get overwhelmed with a sense of acceptance, safety, and love. Those are really my people. Yes, I love my guy friends, but my girl friends and I have this bond, that only got stronger as we matured and grew together over the years. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but that only made us realize those are the times we need each other the most. I have always had a relatively high self-esteem my whole life, but this sense of belonging just reassures me that I am loved every day by many people, even if I don't feel like it. To be honest, I currently don't feel out of place anywhere. A couple years ago, though, I felt out of place in my own home. My dad had moved out for a while, and I held my mom and brothers in my arms while they sobbed. I felt like I was the backbone of the family at the time, which obviously put a lot of pressure on me. Once my dad moved back in, things just got worse. My parents constantly screamed at each other, and there was always this negative feeling in the air. It got to the point where I hated going home. Eventually they went to counseling and worked things out, and things are better than they have been in a long time. I didn't appreciate my parents being together until they almost weren't. I am so grateful they worked things out, because I feel like I belong everywhere in my life currently, especially with the people that mean the most to me.
ReplyDeleteI think that everyone wants to think that they belong. We don't "need" to belong in order to sustain life. Thinking that we belong is something I would like to have. I want to know I belong just so I can "believe" I have friends. No one wants to be the odd man out. I believe I belong in my family, with my best friend Mariah, and with my boyfriend Rob. I can truly be myself and no one would judge. We all act weird together. Feeling that you do or don't belong most certainly effects your self esteem. If you feel like you belong, then you feel you have a place to go if you need to. You can always feel comfortable around those people. If you never feel like you belong then you may not be happy with your relationships. I have definitely had a problem with this. I still do now that the two people who I said I belonged with aren't in my school anymore. This fills me with so much sorrow. I honestly don't feel that I belong. Especially at school. There is not one particular group of friends I truly belong with. I have definitely felt so isolated because of it. I used to cry all the time because I had no friends I thought I belonged with. Especially since I am friends with a lot of girls. A majority of the girls are catty and they are fake to one another, so how am I supposed to know who I can and can't trust. I am definitely misunderstood a majority of the time. Some people take the things I say seriously even if it is a joke and I always feel bad about it because I am actually a nice person, I just use sarcasm WAY too much. Not feeling like you belong really, really hurts. The only people I belong with aren't even at my school. I actually had an argument with my dad and I mentioned something about my friends, my dad told me that if I wanted to I can transfer to a private school just because of the social situations. High school is hard, I know. I don't want to run away from my problems but sometimes it is just too hard to handle. There were only a couple things keeping me at oakcrest and most of my friends weren't one of them (sorry). But to get back on topic, not belong can really, REALLY damage your self esteem.
ReplyDeleteI say that i have felt like i belonged. I have lived in the same house for as long as i can remember and with my neiborhood came very good friends. Ever since we were all little kids we would hang out, i still remember all the times when we would all just get together and make comic books. I belong to my friends. You can say my soul belongs to them which is how loyal i am to them. I have also kind of felt that i belong in my neiborhood. All those times we have hung out together is always here, every time we ride our bikes we always see the same trees, houses, bus stops, etc. I really feel i have a connection to where i live but it is nothing compared to the connection between me and the people who live in it. I love where i live but i would go to hell and back for my brothers. It just happens to be most of my childhood friends live right next to me but they are the real thing i belong to.
ReplyDeleteThis topic in particular really made me stop and think: Do I really belong anywhere? If I'm going to be completely honest, I don't think I belong anywhere specifically. Don't get me wrong, I'm apart of sports teams and clubs and I have many good friends, but I can't say that I'm actually apart of something such as a close knit friend group. I used to be, but soon I felt as if I was pushed out and away from them and by them. I'm still friends with them, but not as close of friends to them as they are to each other. I don't feel like I belong there anymore, because they would always leave people out of the group, not invite them places, or just didn't feel connected in general. I want to be part of a close friend group like that, but I want it to be with people who actually care and want to involve everyone. I feel as if I don't have a connection like that with anyone and that's what's missing. I will admit that I do push myself away a little, because of other responsibilities such as homework, work, or family time. I feel as if I am misunderstood, overlooked and undervalued, because I am a really good friend, in my opinion, and people don't see that sometimes. In life, I feel as though we do, to some degree, need to feel included or like we belong, because without it, we can't go to someone with our happiest moments, or our worst. The need to belong is very much there, also because we feel lost in life without belonging somewhere. My self esteem is pretty decent, but I know that if you feel like you don't belong somewhere, it can make you feel bad about yourself and it can make you think that you don't have anyone or anywhere to go to. Besides all of the parties, clubs, activities or sports, the most popular kids may sometimes feel out of place, too. They might feel like they have to do these things to belong and to fit in with others, keeping them "involved." The need to belong is something that we all have and can't avoid. We need to feel like we are apart of something, and without it, you may feel as if you don't have anyone to go to or talk to about the important things in life.
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel like I belong. Maybe not to a specific "group", but more in a collective manner. I have a lot of friends (I think) all of whom I'm close with. However, they're more than just friends you see every once in a while. These are the people I talk to all the time, they help me with things, give me a sense of belonging. Some are people I've known my whole life, some are recent friends. I think feeling like belonging is the most important thing ever. Without this, you will always feel out of place and unwanted which are two of the worst feelings imaginable. I cannot fathom feeling like this and I'm deeply sorry for anyone who does. I was blessed with the ability to be a social creature and because of this, I have benefited in a plethora of ways. I have friends in more "cliques" than I can name and I'm pretty well connected. Because of this, no matter what, I always have a place to belong to which is great. I feel like the most important aspect of feeling like you belong is the willingness of the others to spend time with you. Without this, a feeling of belonging is one that is simply conjured out of the mind of the individual. I do kinda wish I hung out with my friends more often but that's about it. I occasionally also feel unwanted sometimes but that's probably just my brain overthinking. Besides that, I'm happy that I have a great group of friends to belong to. They are honestly what gets me through school, so even if I don't always show it, I'm am very grateful for their existence in my life.
ReplyDeleteFor a while last year I felt as if I were in a glass cage. What I mean by that is that I felt as if I was just here, just at school. Going through the motions-- a zombie. There was always a wall, thin as glass, yet unbreakable.Sometimes I still feel that way. For the years that I’ve lived in New Jersey not once I really felt like I truly belonged. Maybe that’s why I always long for Texas, or my mother country. I think everyone always has a “need” to belong, if not, no one would care about societal rules.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think I belong in New Jersey as an overall. I’m not sure why, however I always feel like I’m intruding for some reason. I think what makes me feel like this is because everyone here has known each other for pretty much their entire lives. I suck it up because I move a lot in general, so I’m a little used to it. What’s missing is a deep connection with someone, like my best friend, who’s in Texas. I do feel undervalued at times, I’m a loyal person, I feel as some of my friends take me for granted. It used to hurt my self esteem, I was depressed for a while. For the most part I just don't care. I’m at the point where I’m done getting slapped in the face. I’m not putting in effort if the other person isn’t either. What I do care about is my mental health and if another person is detrimental to it, then I'm keeping my distance.
Everyone should feel like they belong in some group, or we will feel lonely and no one should feel that way in any case. I don’t feel that people who go to parties and do clubs and do sports feel belonged because they do those things to feel involved. For example like going to a party if you don't go or you didn’t get invited you feel left out because other people are having fun and you’re probably sitting at home and doing nothing like just another regular Friday or Saturday. I feel both ways i sometimes feel like i belong and sometimes don’t belong. I belong with kids my age from Hammonton because i lived there my whole life. Although i didn't grow up with them i got to meet them one time and they liked me and everything went well when i went to this party. I was in my cousins quinceanera and i was in her “court of honor” (basically a bunch a people who get to dance with the quinceanera and kids that are her age who she trust and wants to be there for her special day) and i got to meet a lot of people at that party that i didn't know. I got to know even more people from Hammonton after the party. Everything went well because i had a bunch of similarities with everyone. Feeling belonged feels great for myself - esteem because whenever i feel down or do something wrong i have people to go to, and i know that they will back me up and get me back to my feet. I also sometimes don't feel belonged in school and i honestly don't know why i feel like i haven't been in a lot of classes with some people. I have been in cp classes my whole life maybe that’s why and also i don't get involved as much as others so it basically my fault. To me not feeling belonged makes me lose confidence and not do things that i should be doing, and it also makes me feel lost in some way like i don’t know where to go type way. It also causes me to even space myself away from those i try to feel belonged to. It’s just not a good feeling at all.
ReplyDeleteAs a 16 year old boy I definitely feel the need to belong. I would think most high schoolers feel the same way because in today's world if your not apart of a group you can feel like an outsider and lonely. I think most people who are apart of a club or team feel like they belong because there is a support system in place for them. The people who go to every party and aren't on a club and seem like a very popular person might not feel the same way. In my opinion if all you do is party you might not feel as if you belong to any certain place because at parties there are often times many different types of people. I feel like I belong with my soccer teammates because I spend the majority of my weeks with them and we always have a good time. The sense of belonging boosts my self esteem because having those friends who will support me in most of my decisions makes me feel like I’m doing something right
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ReplyDeleteHonestly, belonging is hard when you have nowhere to go. I've never felt the need to because I never felt like I could. I know that's bad for me, but it's just how I was raised. By myself. There's really not much more I can say on the topic. I'm not misunderstood. Everyone knows my situation, and no one as far as I know pities me, or goes out of their way. I don't know if I'd consider myself undervalued. I've never done anything valuable I guess, but at the same I wouldn't know if I did. Being overlooked is something I prefer to be completely honest. No matter how good I am at something, having people's eyes on me makes it uncomfortable, and kind of ruins it for me. As for my self esteem, there's really no absolute effect. I guess I couldn't know that for sure, since I don't know how things would be if I felt like I belonged, but I've always had a low self-esteem, and it has nothing to do with that. Belonging has just...never crossed my mind I guess.
ReplyDeleteThe word “belong” falls under a broad spectrum; it could mean a lot of things. I feel like at this point in my life, I don’t need to belong where I will in 20 years. However, at age 16, I feel that I should belong in a peculiar place on a more infinitesimal level. At this moment in my life, I belong here in this country and this state under the current circumstances. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I live under a certain motto: If you do not change your direction, you may end up where you are headed. If where I am wasn’t already a possibility, it is now. For example, if I decided not to write this blog tonight, I wouldn’t be enjoying my day tomorrow. But that’s besides the point. Wherever my future takes me is where I belong at that given moment. I feel this way because of what my past experiences have taught me. I used to care too much about where I should be, whether it be academically or physically. Thinking about it too much makes you stressed, doesn’t it? With my, one could say, “carefree” kind-of attitude, it helps me to get by life without overloading. To clarify, it’s not that I don’t give a flying frick about where I come from, but being apathetic helps me to deal with the pressure of the world constantly changing around us, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
ReplyDeleteI feel like no one truly knows where they belong, although, I do believe that having a need to belong gives someone a purpose; a reason to exist. Even the popular kids need to belong. If they didn’t, would they be labeled as popular? The secret is out: probably not.
I used to feel the need to belong a lot. Back when I was a little kid and I wanted to be like all the cool kids, but when they just made fun of me or bullied me it felt as though I just didn't belong. I felt lonely, ya know. And I wanted to belong somewhere so that I could enjoy all the fun together with them. But growing up I made me realize everyone doesn't fit in and sometimes you have to develop your own belonging, in a way. I find myself to belong in a lot of things. Some of those I want to belong to, but do I actually feel the inherent need to belong? I think it takes time, that you have to realize your place and where you stand in life to find out where you really belong. So yes I can say I do feel this way, as do many of us 16 and 17 year olds do. It's a tough time at this age in this generation with all the technology and social media, you have to belong somewhere or else you don't feel like yourself.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I belong with people I can trust that also trust me. There's too many fake people that will say one thing and then go behind your back. I don't feel like I belong around those kind of people, although sometimes it's not their fault and I understand that. I feel as though when you can trust people it opens up more opportunities and friendships. You have more fun when your with friendly people that share similar interests. And when your having fun you feel like you belong, so I guess I can say I like to belong around people I can trust. That sense of belonging improves my self-esteem because I feel better about myself. I feel like I make the people around me happy, which is probably one of the best feelings you can have. So knowing I belong somewhere definitely boosts my self-esteem.
I do not have a conception in my mind that tunnels me into believing I must have a spot. Though I believe at some point in my life I will have one, it is not as if I am forcing myself into one. Belonging is a comforting feeling. It is a sense of safety, possibly joy, good memories, for most it means family or home. So, in this aspect I do have a belonging. The position in which I am not “forcing” myself into, is the public’s view of my position in the community. I do have the ideology that I am placed as in the movie tinker bell, nor do I suggest anyone be convinced of this. At some point in my life, as I have previously stated, I am to the understanding that I will come to terms with myself in a fuller respect, being able to comprehend, well- me. Until then there is no just athlete, nerd, loner, stoner. No thanks. I am what I allow myself to achieve. Then, the misconception then lies in the societal aspect. There’s that common blog word; society. As a whole, people tend to believe well- I should say follow, what others tend to. In that case, people truly believe they must fit somewhere because that is what everyone around them is hinting. In most circumstances, this is usually the sad case. It is tragic to imagine that the entirety of our lives have been decided on others opinions and beliefs, rather than our own. But, that is simply because we are too fearful of being shamed out of an original idea. I will end with this, here is an original idea; you are your own belonging. A house is a building, a club is an activity, and a party is just an event.
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ReplyDeleteIve struggled with belonging my entire life. And not because I moved around a lot and had to make new friends, but because I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone. I thought if I belonged to some type of friend group that they would just leave me like everyone else did. But with time comes change and now I can proudly say that I belong to the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. The people I surround myself with now are my favorite people in the world. They make me feel safe, supported, LOVED, and understood. I’m incredibly thankful for them and the things they do, I couldn’t thank them enough. We’ve seen each other grow and mature which only made us closer. However with every good friendship comes bad times, and we definitely have our fair share of them. But at the end of the day, we can’t stay mad at each other. My self esteem has been extremely terrible my entire life. I don’t remember a time where I was okay with who I was. Even when I was really little I dreamed of having lighter skin, longer hair, and lighter eyes. But when I’m with my people, my friends, it’s like all I can do is love myself. Their love and support is the reason why I’m learning to love my self. I honestly feel most out of place in my own home. Sometimes I feel so different than everyone else in my house. My mom and I rarely see eye to eye, especially on important things, my siblings just don’t care, and I think I only say two words to my “step dad” a day. Sometimes I hate coming home. I’m overlooked and undervalued by certain people. It hurts a lot because all I want to do is please people, and make them happy before I even think about myself. That’s a good and a bad thing sometimes. My friends, however, make me feel very appreciated. Talking to them instantly reassures me no matter how I’m feeling. Moral of the story is I love my friends
ReplyDeleteOf course I belong! I mean that in the best way possible. I don't mean belong to certain friend groups or sports. I believe that everyone has a place or thing they belong to. If you are happy and a positive influence where you are at, you belong there. However, if you are uncomfortable you obviously don't belong there and that is alright to admit. No one is forced to belong somewhere they do not want to belong. I belong on the soccer field. No doubt about it. I know this because since I was little I always was happy and was filled with such a joy. I also feel that I am always a positive influence on my teammates and I always try to help them get better. Being where you belong is very important. You will always know if you belong somewhere if you enjoy where you are. People might tell you that you don't belong but that does not matter one bit. You belong with people who see the best in you and the people that you know you can trust.
ReplyDeleteHumans are dependent on each other. We live through symbiotic relationships with family, friends, and acquaintances. I firmly agree with Abraham Maslow's theory that humans have a need to belong, specifically because of my experiences growing up. Growing up as a first-generation immigrant, I wasn't immersed in Indian culture like many of my cousins and close family friends. It might seem weird, but I find it close to uncomfortable when I'm around a bunch of Indian people, only because I'm not used to it. I feel as if I belong in Mays Landing and always will because I'm surrounded by people who understand the way I talk or act.
ReplyDeleteI characterize myself as an adaptable and flexible person, somewhat like a chameleon in which I act like a different person in different situations. No, I don't have multiple personality disorder. Because of this adaptability, I feel as if I "belong" wherever I want. To answer the crux of the question, I consider the stage of being a young adult the first search of finding where you "belong". High school is like a jungle, and hopefully, once we finish our 4-year adventure through the forestry, we end up realizing who we are, what we want, why want it, and who we associate ourselves with. Being around my friends and in the place where I feel I "belong" gives me huge confidence. Sometimes I'll do things I wouldn't normally do, say things I normally wouldn't say, or even be someone I normally wouldn't be. Again, I don't have multiple personality disorder. However, feeling as if you don't belong has a horrible effect on someone's morale and overall well-being.
Rejection and isolation are one of the most detrimental factors to human being's overall mental health. People need people. When this doesn't happen, self-esteem and happiness take a dive. I've been in plenty of situations where I didn't feel as if I "belonged" anywhere and it wasn't pleasant. I had no motivation and was always droopy, which also affected the people around me. Everyone faces these moments in life, where everything hits rock bottom, but it'll eventually get better. I trust Mr. Moon from "Sing!" when he shouted, "You know what's great about hitting rock bottom? There's only one way left to go, and that's up!"
If you didn't get that last reference, please watch "Sing!" it's a highkey banger.
I feel like in the past I have definitely felt the need to belong but right now I’ve found my circle of people that I’m happy with. I don’t feel like I have belong with everybody as long as I have those close to me. I feel like I belong with my friend group, the girls especially. Natalia, Kenzie, Maryn, Kim, Kaela, Gabbie, Cilla, these girls have been there for me in such an amazing way lately and I appreciate them for that. We’ve all had this bond that has been so strong lately and it’s just made me belong because we’ve all had bad moments with each other but that never stopped us from getting together again and now we’re better than ever. What this does for me and my self esteem is, it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I have people always there for me when I need them and they’re not just their for bad moments, we all have the BEST times together and are always laughing. I feel like the people who go to every party and do everything don’t exactly feel like they belong anywhere in particular. They are just there to be there and they don’t have an exact place. I’m happy to have found my people and who I belong with and who I can be myself around, especially right now. Not only the girls but with Mason, and the boys in my friend group and my sports teams. In one way or another they’ve all made me feel like I belong there with them.
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