Lao Tzu Says: A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step
Many of you already know the concept of the hero's journey; that is, the idea that all literature--and for that matter, all of life in general--follows that pattern of the journey.
There is "the call," which is, ostensibly, the beginning of the journey--the reason you start in the first place;
there is the threshold--literally, crossing over from the "known" into the "unknown" (literally or figuratively);
the "challenges or trials," a.k.a. life's little problems, big problems, annoyances, tragedies or inconveniences--in literature--dragons to be slain;
"the abyss"--when you think the whole world is against you and nothing will ever be right again.
Once you get past all of that you move on to "the transformation," or in other words, the "What have you learned, Dorothy?" moment--that moment when all of the suffering and the waiting finally give way to acceptance or riches;
"the atonement"--how have you made peace with what you've learned or become (nobody is ever the same after a journey--the trick is to figure out why and how you changed)
and finally, "the return" (with a gift), where you come back to the only place you've ever known a changed person with a host of knowledge/skills or wealth to aid in all future endeavors.
Basically, all of literature revolves around some schematic of this journey, and if you think about it, all of your lives do too.
Especially at this stage of your high school careers. Some of you have lived lives and seen things you never should have, never wanted to or never thought you would, for better or worse. All of you have been through problems and overcome obstacles and persevered.
My question this week is--how? Your answer is to trace the various moments of your life that you consider a journey--physical, spiritual, emotional, mental--whatever.
How did you do it?
What type of mental, spiritual, physical, or intestinal fortitude did you need to have in order to emerge victorious from your journey?
What was the journey?
Did you embark upon it willingly or were you pushed?
What did you learn? Did it change you? For the better? Or worse?
Did you have help, or "guardians" as they say in Journey jargon?
Tell me about it.
There is "the call," which is, ostensibly, the beginning of the journey--the reason you start in the first place;
there is the threshold--literally, crossing over from the "known" into the "unknown" (literally or figuratively);
the "challenges or trials," a.k.a. life's little problems, big problems, annoyances, tragedies or inconveniences--in literature--dragons to be slain;
"the abyss"--when you think the whole world is against you and nothing will ever be right again.
Once you get past all of that you move on to "the transformation," or in other words, the "What have you learned, Dorothy?" moment--that moment when all of the suffering and the waiting finally give way to acceptance or riches;
"the atonement"--how have you made peace with what you've learned or become (nobody is ever the same after a journey--the trick is to figure out why and how you changed)
and finally, "the return" (with a gift), where you come back to the only place you've ever known a changed person with a host of knowledge/skills or wealth to aid in all future endeavors.
Basically, all of literature revolves around some schematic of this journey, and if you think about it, all of your lives do too.
Especially at this stage of your high school careers. Some of you have lived lives and seen things you never should have, never wanted to or never thought you would, for better or worse. All of you have been through problems and overcome obstacles and persevered.
My question this week is--how? Your answer is to trace the various moments of your life that you consider a journey--physical, spiritual, emotional, mental--whatever.
How did you do it?
What type of mental, spiritual, physical, or intestinal fortitude did you need to have in order to emerge victorious from your journey?
What was the journey?
Did you embark upon it willingly or were you pushed?
What did you learn? Did it change you? For the better? Or worse?
Did you have help, or "guardians" as they say in Journey jargon?
Tell me about it.
My journey was more of a mental obstacle I had to overcome. I was very depressed, suicidal, and anxious between 7th-9th grade. I had to overcome that obstacle and yes it was very very difficult. I was kinda pushed in overcoming it, but I also wanted to do it so I could not feel how I was feeling anymore. My journey was hard and there were many MANY times I just wanted to give up, but I didn't. I pushed through it. I was able to do it because of the support I had from my parents and therapists and peers. I also was able to do it because I had the desire to keep going instead of just giving up. I was not gonna be held back from being happy. I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am stronger than I think. I don't need to go back to that dark place in my head anymore. I can pursue anything if I truly believe I could. It most definitely changed me. I see things from a different perspective now. I also have more insight to help others in hard situations. I had trouble in the past but looking at where I was verse where I am now gives me hope. I did not think I would be here today but I am. I made it through. Since I accomplished that "journey" it seems as though I can accomplish anything. I had guardians guide me and help me. These guardians are my parents, therapists, teachers, and friends. They all helped me get through my tough time whether they know it or not. That journey was hard but now I feel as if I am ready for any obstacle life can throw at me.
ReplyDeleteI had to think long and hard about this blog, but something that I consider to be a journey in my life is my parents' divorce. Yes, that may not seem like a big deal to others, but people who have divorced parents can relate in ways that are hard to explain and go through. Having divorced parents is like not knowing which house is your home. Having divorced parents is not knowing whose house you'll be at sometimes, and most importantly, not being able to grow up with and see both of your parents all of the time like other kids. This journey has taught me a lot in ways that I can't control, and I was pushed to go through this. I had no other choice than to go through it and learn how to cope with it. This journey, to me, is a huge mental one. I have to remember a lot of things, such as what clothes or other items I want to bring back and forth to each house, and whose house I will even be at that day. In the beginning, my mentality was that the whole thing was my fault. That my parents weren't happy anymore together because of me. But, as I got older, I learned that this was not the case at all, and there was a much bigger picture between my parents. But, other mental blocks that I have to go through is listen to other people talk about "Oh, my mom, dad and I did this and that this weekend," or "My parents and I go on vacations all of the time together." These things, even though they seem small, have set me back, because ever since a young age, I really never got to see my parents together. I never realized how much that would change me and really make me appreciate family. I never get to be with both of my parents at the exact time, and I do miss both of them when I'm not with them. But, after all, these struggles have made me who I am today and they have made me stronger. I now have a sense of respect for the word family and I know how to appreciate all of the time I have with family. I learned that if you're not happy with someone, then you need to let go. You need to move on and do what's best for you and your family. This has also taught me a lot in relationships, too. After everything, though, my parents do help me and my sister through this and always work hard to make sure that we are dealing with it alright and they make sure to help us when they can with things. They help us remember things or think about some things that we may not have on our own. Without this in my life, I wouldn't be who I am today and this made me a stronger person.
ReplyDeleteMy journey started while i was young boy. Ever since in was old enough to be punished, and start to learn what was right and wrong, i’ve been hit, smacked, bit and spit on. No held back punches. I learned to minimize my floggings by staying away from my father as much as possible, and not touching anything in the house that could break, or seemed important for my father to easily access, and not have to look for if moved. I resided in a kingdom ruled by a rutheless dictator who wasnt afraid to carry out his orders and wrath with his iron fist. This suppression was the conflict, however not the begining of my journey. My journey started when my sister, Emily, was born. From the time she could walk, I had to keep an eye on her. When SHE was old enough to be punished, i made sure she never was. When something broke, i made sure she was no where near it, so she couldn’t be blamed. When the dictator of the kingdom was in one of his moods, i made sure Emily was in my room playing with toys under my supervision, and i made sure i was the one closest to the door. When my sister Aila, And my youngest sibling Savannah were born, i did the same for them. Majority of the time, I was taking abuse for four. The times i couldnt take the abuse from them though, was the worst. They’ve had beatings of their own, and the most pain ive ever felt, never came from one of my fathers beatings on me. It came from watching my sisters get abused. Most of my beatings have been blocked out of my mind and harder to recall. But the vision of my sisters screaming, yelling, and crying while my fathers hand keeps raising annd falling, raising and falling, the remeniscence of the feeling of my heart breaking, and the pit in my stomach telling me im a coward for not stepping in, is still very vivid and detailed in my mind. Guilt i’m still dealing with today. My sisters mother (Essentially my mom, she raised me) was my gardian. She stopped my father when he took my beatings too far. From this journey, this expirience, i learned responsibility over another life, and courage it takes to protect a loved one. Maybe by not slaying the dragon, but by allowing the dragon to slay you, over and over and over again, so it leaves the rest of the kindom alone.
ReplyDeleteA time in my life I consider a journey would be when I moved here. I remember that 2012 was extremely hectic. I felt like I had to be the shield that protects everyone else from getting hurt. And I still feel that way, I feel like I sometimes have to act happy even when I’m not because maybe someone else is going through situations that are worse. I willingly came to live here. My mom gave me the choice of me staying in Dominican Republic with my grandparents, I honestly almost did. But then I thought “What if something happens to her?” and that's why I came. I learned that sometimes you have to be there for others and to just take a leap of faith. When we moved here we lived with my moms BOYFRIEND, we didn't know whether it was going to last or not. But so far it has and now I have a great man in my life. And for my mom, she has an awesome husband. One of my role models and counsels. Mentally my journey is still going, and I don’t think it’ll stop any time sooner, unless I like die tomorrow or something. You never know. Everyday is a mental hurdle I have to get over. But I do it, well— because that’s life. I know since the day I arrived on this soil, a new life began for me. And that’s why I say that my “quest” or “journey” isn’t over. God put me here to make others happy. I know he did, he’s shown me over and over.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I looked up what my name meant and it means Defender of men or protector of men, serves me right huh?
I’ve been through many journeys in my life. One journey I’ve been through is my soccer journey. I talk about soccer a lot in my blogs because soccer is my life. I started playing when I was three years old, and I barely knew how to kick a soccer ball. But there was something about the sport that kept me with it to this day, so I obviously had a special connection with it. It took many types of fortitude to deal with my journey. First off, physical. So many hard practices to test my strength and endurance. It has payed off so much and I don’t regret all the pain during training at all. Next up, mental. I was tired mentally in so many games and practices but I was able to fight it off because I wanted to get after it. I wanted it so much that I didn’t let any obstacles faze me. I embarked on this journey willingly. I knew this sport made me happy when I was down and I wanted to continue playing it. I have learned so much from this game such as leadership, determination, strength and much more. I have had so many guardians such as my coaches and my teammates who pushed me to do better and get better. This journey has changed me as a person but in a positive way and will continue to do so as my journey continues.
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ReplyDeleteA journey i have overcame is my swim career. I haven't done anything for as long as i have been swimming really other than living. Towards the beginning i wasn't pretty good, it was all mental. I just wanted to be the best i could be. I had some help on the way, i have had so many coaches over the years that all helped become the best swimmer i could be. I guess you could say they were also my guardians. Motivating me to not settle for less. It took a lot of mental strength to wake up early, jump in the cold pool, and keep swimming in general. I also have had great team mates. They also have kept me going even though a lot of them quit. I have learned a lot of aspects of teamwork.
ReplyDeleteI’ve overcome things with time and growth of maturity. I’ve learned the less I care about things I honestly can’t control the more control I am really putting back into my life. With time all good things come, going hand and hand with patience. Having patience with school, with people, with life’s obstacles and everything else. Of course we want everything good to greet us as soon as possible with a warm hug but, rushing things gets you a slap in the face. Rushing your life, the hard times, conversations with people, and more will only distract you from the deeper value of all those subjects. Patience has the ability to teach you, you are the one to decide wether you want to sit through the lesson. Personally, my journey is still going, will probably never slow down. But that’s because life keeps going. With time I’ve forgave, probably too much but hey it’s brownie points for being a good person I guess. I’ve left those behind who have never wanted to see me succeed with life’s obstacles from the start, I blame that on their own suffering though, I can relate to it and I can only suppose it’s the reason for most people outlooks on people and life as a whole. I’ve sat back and let life break me with a brick and I’ve also watched life piece me together with occasional positivity and beautiful souled people, but I’m still piecing myself together...who isn’t? I wouldn’t say life’s obstacles were by my will but I also know they weren’t necessarily pushed on me either. What happens, happens, usually not much we can do to prevent the terrible stuff but only learn to deal with outcomes of terrible, unfair things. I truly believe we are only given what we can handle, sometimes those who believe they can’t handle things aren’t in the right place at the right time. But often we’re never in the right place at the right time, how ironic of a saying hmm. But it’s because things don’t always go the right way, if they did people would just be soft and that’s a fact, period. Of course this has all made me better, in other words stronger, and I’m still on a journey of maturity, strength, and recovery, I’m just happy to be in a place where I can speak upon this today, meaning I’ve somewhat lived to a point where this sort of mindset is constantly running through my mind, and I’ve done it all by myself. Well I do wanna thank everyone I’ve moved on from or felt with because without them I’d have nothing to move on from or deal with, then I’d have no blog post, so thank you guys!
ReplyDeleteA journey that I had was over coming the death of one of my best friends, Cole. Losing him was most definitely the hardest thing to happen to me. I'm literally crying about it right now. I had never really had an encounter with death that affected me as much as the death of Cole. I'd known him since I was in elementary school and he'd been with me for some of the worst experiences of my life. He always had my back and I always had his. It was tough to see him go and it still feels like he just "moved" away. But his passing wasn't what hurt me the most. It was the fact that I blamed myself for everything. I had been playing with Cole hours before he had passed and he had seem perfectly fine. It was the other times when he'd talk to me about killing himself and asking me what he should do. He looked for me to save him and the fact that I didn't eats away at my soul everyday. I should have told his parents. I should have told someone else. I always told him it wasn't worth it and that I we had to graduate together. I told him it would be okay but it wasn't enough. After I was informed about his passing it destroyed me. I broke down instantly and left school immediately. I remember the day so clearly it horrifying. I remember thinking I would never see my best friend again. No more video games. No more basketball or soccer. No more anything. It took a lot of mental strength to try to prepare myself for school and knowing I wouldn't see him there anymore. Having so many friends and such a supportive family really helped me accept his death. February is still a very raw month for me and I'm sure it is for plenty of people. Cole's passing 100% changed me and I think for the better. It helped me understand that I couldn't control everything. I have so many regrets and I wish I had a second chance. Although I don't think I've fully completed my journey, I' definitely making progress. I miss you so much buddy.
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ReplyDeleteAfter a long thought, I have come to the conclusion that I have never completed a true hero's journey. I have come to the realization that I am currently in one right now that involves both physical and mental components. My hero journey is college and it all started in 8th grade when my mom forced me to apply for the biomedical program, which was something I had no interest in but “It will look good on your college application”. Throughout my high school career, I am have been pushed to get better grades than I already was getting and take harder classes than I was already taking. I had accepted the challenge and for my freshmen and sophomore years I was doing great but once junior year came everything went downhill. I haven't enjoyed coming to school even though my grades have remained around the same I haven’t. School to me just hasn’t been the same and I don’t know how to fix it. I am hoping that “the atonement” and “the return” part of my journey come soon because right now I am currently in “the abyss”. What I have learned so far from my journey is that no matter how well you are doing you should always be prepared for a negative turn to happen.
I never really considered things that happened in my life to be considered a “journey”. I believed that things that happened in my life are the worlds way of telling me what it is preparing me for. I believe that one of my journeys was in 6th grade. My family was in a very tough spot. Both of my parents were unemployed and they constantly got into arguments over money. I remember one time it was so bad, my mom and my dad didn’t talk for weeks. My mom went over my aunts house for a couple of weeks and the days that she did spend with me, she was always on the phone with her sister. My dad on the other hand flew all the way back to China. Sometimes I even thought to myself that this was the end of my parents relationship and that were all doomed. Even after the fact that we were at our lowest, my parents still got through everything together. From the time my parents made on til now, they’ve done almost everything together. My parents are inseparable and it makes my heart super happy. This journey was definitely a mental journey because the idea of my parents being separated really made me feel some type of way and it just constantly brought my mood down. I believe that this journey really was pushed upon because I never dealt with such things before and it just pushed to me to realize that not all families are perfect. I think the major outcome of this whole situation is that it really pushed me to become who I am. It made me realize that maybe not all families are like mine. While my parents relationship did get saved, I know that out there, not every parents has the ability to save their relationship like mine did. I think the guardians of my journey that helped me along my way would definitely be my grandparents and my sister. They constantly gave me motivation and kept pushing me forward. They often times showed me that even if all of this didn’t work out, I still have others that love me just as much as they do.
ReplyDeleteI haven't really went threw a journey, but if a break up counts then here it goes. My friend Alejandro was interested in this this girl. But then I ended up sort of “stealing” her from him. She was never interested in him and I just reacted and I said to myself why not. My friend got really mad he didn't want to talk to me at all. So this girl and I end up going into that stage of “talking” we got to know a lot about each other and then 2 and half months later we confirmed it, we were now dating. We went on date, the usual movies and just in all we had fun. Two months into our relationship, it was her birthday and I got to meet her parents. We were happy at the time and everything was going well until i go over her house after school. And I kept going to her house and then I come to the realization “when is she going to come to my house”. She never gave her effort of trying to do something about she just said “my parents don't know your parents”. So this girls mom calls my mom and they end up talking and talking about mom stuff. From that moment I ended up working a lot we stopped going on dates because she had her things to do and I took the initiative to do my own stuff and work. We stopped going on dates and things just started to fall apart, I didn't care as much In the way of just caring for her. I lost interest in her and just I don't feel the same. Last summer was the nadir of our relationship I worked everyday and she just stayed home and always wanted to talk. There is nothing wrong with that but I was constantly being observed and I couldn't talk. She would later want to hang out I just couldn't I was to busy. I broke up with her when she went to Columbia. I mean the atonement could be when she gave me back my sweater but it ended up smelling like frito and that is not a good smell to have on sweater. But I would like to make amends with her because our relationship ended up badly and I didn't like that. But in all it was a roller coaster of a relationship and probably wouldn't like to return.
ReplyDeleteI have had many journeys in my life so far, and have overcome many MANY obstacles, but by far the biggest journey for me was softball. Yes this is going to be a deep rant about softball by Gabbie once again because it is literally all I do so shut up. It doesn’t seem that deep to most people, but the love and passion I have for this sport has gotten me through some pretty tough times. It was the only reason I left the house when Cole died, and the only reason I got stress out when my household was toxic. I started playing when I was 7, and have went to amazing places, and have made lifelong friendships. I am a junior now, which means recruiting season. I have emailed literally over 100 colleges, and I have many camps coming up, for example this weekend I have two camps, one at Monmouth and one at Drexel. The recruiting process is long and can be very stressful and sad, because there are many factors. Do they have my major? Is the campus nice? Do I like the coach/team? Will they even give me an offer? All I can is I’ve had many breakdowns about trying to get committed to a college, but I would do anything to play as long as possible. Of course I’ve had “guardians.” My dad has done so much for me, he has sat for hours at a time researching colleges. My mom keeps me sane, she calms me down when I get stressed out about camps and tournaments, and of course all the unconditional love and support from my friends, teachers, teammates, etc. I am just starting my softball journey and I can’t wait to see where it takes me!
ReplyDeleteA journey that comes to mind is my physical one. My appearance never had much important in my life. I have never made an extra effort to “look good” or seem like I do. My appearance to me was inevitable, you will always look bad and feel equally as bad. This is hard to take in, but this was all I knew-quite literally how I had lived and comprehended since birth. With this in mind, even considering my state of being to be “unhealthy” was unimaginable. The fact was, I did not care, and I couldn’t be bothered to figure out how to. I had become used to hearing you are this and you are that, to the point that it became accustomed to my daily life. This is not how anyone should live. It would come from discrete jabs from family and friends that indicated I was “maybe getting a little too heavy..” It is so difficult to explain the state that you are in when people try to “help” you on this manner. Quite frankly, it makes you feel worse which in turn gravitates you toward the only thing you know will make you feel good, food. So through all of the help that was attempted to be given, it only caused the situation to be worsened. It didn’t stop at words from loved ones, you get the constant reminders of how unfit you are through the looks of strangers. Being “fat” affects everything. All the way down to what you wear, where you go, even what you do, because everything went under the question of “do I look fat right now?” I would shake uncontrollably for every mandatory family photo just the thought of knowing how I would look in it. This indescribable feeling of discomfort makes you want to rip out of your own skin, in hopes that you would then somehow be loved. There is no getting away from the suffocation that being overweight brings. There is a never ending vibe of pity every time you walk into the room. I hated myself, there is no other way to put that, every sign in the universe was impelling me to. I didn’t want to be a model or a Barbie doll, I didn’t even care about fitting in. All I wanted. All I wanted was to be good enough. It took me a while (Years) to finally realize that I wasn’t going to find acception through anyone’s words or looks, but I would get that from myself. I finally had enough, I wanted to feel good. I wanted to look in the mirror and not pity myself like the rest of the world did. I wanted to at least be able to say that I was better. If nothing else was accomplished, I could accept that. Two years ago I made the change. I knew that “taking some food out” wasn’t going to cut it. I had to rearrange my entire life. I gave up soda, chips, burgers, fries, chips, pizza, tacos, cake, doughnuts, milk, red meat, dairy, sweets. I started from scratch, eating a plant based diet and exercising regularly. I got through it, not thanks to the push of anyone else but myself. You could not pay me to go back to the way I ate. Sure I existed, but I assure you that was not living. This journey for sure changed me for the better because it made me realize the will power that I had within myself. I overcame my biggest insecurity and fear. It helped having encouragement around me once I started, but I will always thank myself for taking a leap of faith and doing it on my own. The journey taught me to respect and appreciate food for what it is, an energy source.
ReplyDeleteI consider myself relatively young, meaning I have much more of life to live. Therefore, I don't believe I have arrived at my toughest obstacles or greatest achievements. I believe life is like a bunch of hills, that eventually lead up to a mountain, and then recede back down into hills. In mathematical terms, like a sine graph that is constant in the beginning, spikes in the middle, and returns to a constant rate at the end. With that being said, I think one of the bigger journey's I've been through so far has been my "spelling career".
ReplyDeleteMy "call" was in 3rd grade when I won my first spelling bee in English class. I always watched the National Spelling Bee on television every year, staring at the screen in awe at middle schoolers spelling words that I didn't even think were in the English dictionary. This class spelling bee sparked my interest in spelling and set me on a path that I would rediscover in later years. Time passed, and I encountered the "threshold"--my first school spelling bee. I didn't know what to expect, other than that there would be competition. I vividly remember a kid coming up to me and confidently declaring, "You're not going to win, because I'm going to beat you, and if I don't, my older sister will beat you." Keep in mind, I didn't know who this kid was (he's a friend of mine now) or why he wanted to take revenge on me, but it fueled me to work hard and win. I toiled night after night, quizzing myself, having my parents quiz me, and even researching different spelling lists online. My preparation paid off, and I won the school spelling bee, advancing to the regional spelling bee. However, my excitement of advancing was negated by a rude awakening at the regional bee. These competitors were not playing around. They were all prepared. But more importantly, the words were harder. This stiff competition was my "challenge". Moving onto the regional bee in 7th grade, where I reach my "abyss". I learned my lesson from last year and worked extremely hard to study every word I could. I thought it was my year. My year to advance to Nationals. But it wasn't. I was in the top 4, and I was given the word "oratorio". I knew this word, and I spelled it correctly until the last letter. I lost concentration and said "a" instead of "o". The cardinal rule in an official spelling bee is that any letter you say is set in stone. I was heartbroken when I heard the piercing 'ding' of the bell. It was supposed to be my year, and I messed it up. Moving onto my "transformation", I learned a valuable lesson that there is no such thing as preparation. I continued my spelling training, determined to go to the National Spelling Bee.
But then one of my closest friends died.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel like doing anything. Eventually I channeled that sadness into motivation and determination to not win the regional bee for myself, but to win it for Cole.
My "atonement" was winning the regional bee. I had to win it. I had to win it for Cole. It was validation for my hard work, and for how much he meant to me. This journey would not have been possible without my guardians. My parents, Mrs. Carmen, and Mr. Weber all helped me along the way, providing support by believing in me, allowing me to achieve my goal. As of now, I still believe I'm going through the "return". I am learning something new every day, changing as a person and bettering myself.
Throughout my life I’ve gone through numerous things that really affected me and my mind, they give me nightmares sometimes but overall still shaped me into who I am whether that’s a good or bad thing. I don’t want to get into specifics with anything or any specific journeys so I’ll just say that I think the hardest years of my life began in 7th grade and since then things have been a rollercoaster. Everything I’ve been through since than was hard to go through and to be honest the journey isn’t over, since 7th grade I have been on a never ending journey. I don’t know when it will stop or when I will complete it and when everything will get better but I am waiting on it and although i haven’t finished it yet it still has changed me in many ways, changed my mindset a little, my heart, and other things. It has taken almost everything out of me to continue pushing through, I haven’t given up and that takes a whole lot of mental toughness that I never knew I had. I have my breakdowns but overall I’m still here and made it through every bad thing that has happened to me for the most part. In the beginning of this journey I only had myself but now recently I’ve had a small good support team and I’m extremely grateful for that. That little support team consists of my amazing friends, bunje, and my sister. I will get through this journey eventually.
ReplyDeleteObstacles… obstacles…
ReplyDeleteI haven’t really thought that this could be considered a journey, but I think I could call how far I’ve come socially quite the challenge. I was somewhat pushed into the friends I know today because of where life brought me, but that’s not to say it was a bad thing. I’m glad to have each and every one of my dear friends today. As I’m writing this, I realized that all throughout middle school and my first half of high school, I have always stuck with the same group of friends and maybe switched things up a little here and there. I could give my junior year the title of life-changing for a couple of reasons. I began new lives with entirely new friends. I reconnected with old friends. I let go of friends who weren’t really there for me. I grew my already existing friendships stronger.
I don’t like to think about it as an obstacle (mostly because I looooove being in denial about the truth!!), but in a way, my lack of social skills in the past pretty much dictated over my life. I was stuck around the same old people and I was wasting my life already. Had it not been for my experiences in high school, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I like to believe that I improve a little more as a person every year. Now, that’s not to say I was ever a bully or something like that. I just want to improve myself a little more every day. And of course, I’m never going to be perfect, and that’s okay.
All I know is that if it weren’t for the people who stuck by me for all of those years, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to even try to make new connections. Had I not made them, I would have fallen into a dark place. Recently, I’ve redefined my life motto. Life is not going to turn out perfectly the way you want, so it’s better to at least try to listen to what change wants for you.
How did I get through this journey? I constantly told myself to keep moving forward (a quote that’s always stuck to me from Meet the Robinsons). I needed mental and emotional fortitude to get through this kind of journey. This journey was my heartbreak early sophomore year. The break-up took place in about a week, but the effect took a toll on me. I’m going to say I was pushed on this journey simply because I was the one who got dumped in this situation. She had dumped me because she said she felt I didn’t love her anymore, which I did unconditionally. But when I asked her what she meant she said it didn’t seem like I loved her because I wasn’t showing it. Lemme give you a little context: Football season just started, it was the beginning of the school year so work was already pilling up, and I was so tired after the day I mostly slept when I got home. So didn’t really have time to text her and I didn’t really see her most of the day, but she didn’t understand. So she broke up with me and I was put through an emotional roller coaster. I couldn’t really focus on my schoolwork and I don’t feel as though I was working to the best of my ability in sports. But like I said I couldn’t let it get the best of me and I kept moving forward. I didn’t really have that much help from anyone I kind of kept it inside and dealt with it. What I learned from her is that someone could just cut you off in an instant for any reason. However, what I more importantly learned from my journey with the heartbreak is that you can’t ever give up. When your all down like that emotionally and mentally it can only get better.
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